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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My husband has a daughter who was born out of wed lock and

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My husband has a daughter who was born out of wed lock and adopted at birth by a very good family. We met her a few years back and things didn't work out, now she is back in our lives she is 44, been married 3 times and is in another relationship now. She has 2 kids 2 different fathers. She has no problems telling us all her money problems and personal issues, we don't know this girl from adam, I feel she is starting this relationship the exact way she did 10 years ago and am abit worried where this is headed. Can anyone shed some light on this kind of behavior? Thanks

jenhelant :

Hi, There are many reasons why she behaves like this. It is sad that she has you both with opened arms and is not taking advantage of the relationship in good way. There could be many reasons why she behaves like this from the fact she was adopted to the way we she raised as well as her own personality and etc. I think the fact that you both were there for her before and shows that you both are doing your parts and there is not much more than you both can do. She is an adult now. You can guide her in the right direction and even suggest counseling for her. She needs guidance since she does not seem capable of making right decisions nor appreciate what she has in the both of you. Please let me know if I can be of further help.


Do you think she is looking for a hand out or just lacks pride in personal issues

jenhelant :

To me it seems like she does lack pride in personal issues and may not even realize what he has in the two of you nor what she is doing.

jenhelant :

She may enjoy hand outs as well, but I do not think that is her main issue. Based on all her actions there is more to it than that.

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