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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6,199
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
VerifiedHello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like the man you are with is very self centered. There is a possibility based on his behavior that he has more than an addiction to the computer and porn. He may have a personality disorder as well. In that case, unless he gains insight into his own problems and decides to fix them through therapy and possibly medications, he may always act out this way.
If you feel done with the relationship and want him out, it is helpful to set some goals in order to get him moving on. First, if you or your family own the home you both live in, then you can contact an attorney and the police to ask how to have him removed legally. They can assist you in the steps it takes to get him out of your home. You may even be able to have him removed and change the locks so he can't get back in.
Secondly, you should stop letting him use your internet and stop doing chores for him. Don't clean his clothes, feed him or do other things you have been doing. Start seeing him as someone who is taking advantage of you and your family (he is) and stop making it easy to let him live there.
He is being emotionally abusive to you so if you can, stop having contact with him. Avoid him at all costs. If he talks with you, don't respond. Just walk away.
It can be difficult to end a relationship you may have felt had potential before. But from your description, this man is using you and your family to avoid growing up and being responsible for himself. He needs to move on so you can have a healthy relationship with someone else.
I hope this has helped you,
Kate
It sounds like the man you are with is very self centered. There is a possibility based on his behavior that he has more than an addiction to the computer and porn. He may have a personality disorder as well. In that case, unless he gains insight into his own problems and decides to fix them through therapy and possibly medications, he may always act out this way.
If you feel done with the relationship and want him out, it is helpful to set some goals in order to get him moving on. First, if you or your family own the home you both live in, then you can contact an attorney and the police to ask how to have him removed legally. They can assist you in the steps it takes to get him out of your home. You may even be able to have him removed and change the locks so he can't get back in.
Secondly, you should stop letting him use your internet and stop doing chores for him. Don't clean his clothes, feed him or do other things you have been doing. Start seeing him as someone who is taking advantage of you and your family (he is) and stop making it easy to let him live there.
He is being emotionally abusive to you so if you can, stop having contact with him. Avoid him at all costs. If he talks with you, don't respond. Just walk away.
It can be difficult to end a relationship you may have felt had potential before. But from your description, this man is using you and your family to avoid growing up and being responsible for himself. He needs to move on so you can have a healthy relationship with someone else.
I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Here is a resource that may help you: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Kate
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6,199
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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