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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Hello , i need your opinion on my relationship, the relationship

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Hello , i need your opinion on my relationship, the relationship started one year ago online , she lifes in Jamaica i Live in Bermuda , we talked often on skype and phone , two weeks ago i traveled to Jamaica to meet her i was there one week and it seems all well.She said she is seperated she wants me to help her financialy to get a divorce. I just don't know how i feel is she legitimate ? I do know not much about her and finding anything out like a back ground check is probably not available.The divorce costs 1000 us dollars , should i send her the funds or should i stall.She is very nice and says she loves me . I just do not know !! your opinion is apreciated
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Anytime someone you don't know that well asks you for money, it usually indicates a scam. Most people have support systems in place that help them with these types of needs. They do not need to be asking someone they do not know that well for money, especially someone who doesn't know them well or that lives out of the country. And even if they didn't have anyone, there is a natural boundary between people who do not know each other and this boundary says that asking someone for money is wrong and too intimate of an action to be appropriate until you know someone very well.

The fact that you don't know much about her also sends up red flags. If she was legitimate, you would know her family, friends and she would be open about her life. Most likely, because she is not open with you there really is not a family or friends but a scam she is performing, maybe with others. Think about it- if you really wanted money from someone wouldn't you at least let them get to know you first? You wouldn't have anything to lose. But she is being secretive, a sure sign of a scam.

I hope this helps you,

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

So i should be carefull with sending any more money, since i did send some money to her before, even although i met her in Jamaica and we had a great time for one week even told her i will be back, thats when she reminded me she is seperated and not divorced yet and she would need suport to finalize the divorce so she could be all mine .

It's still a bad idea. She is playing on your feelings in order to get you to give her the money. She should not need you to get a divorce. She needs to handle her own personal relationship then be there for you, not the other way around.


TherapistMaryAnn and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hello , i did not send the money but still talk to the lady , i am scheduled to go to Jamaica again in ten days i want to make things clear wit her.


in the mentime old (local) flame called me several times , she wants to see me , so now i do not know what to do, its too late to call of the trip at the same time i am not so sure of my feelings , what should i do?

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