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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I need advise.. im so sad today and i dont know what to think

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I need advise.. im so sad today and i dont know what to think or feel..

I have been seeing my partner/boyfiend?? now for about 2 years, started off purely physical but managed to grow into more.. we moved in together in may this year and in august he moved out and ended it. after about 2 weeks apart he then changed his mind and we resumed seeing each other but are still living apart.

Now, things has (well i thought...) worked out well, i mean i even get "i love you's" now, which is a big deal for him and he really is trying (i though...) until friday..

he works away and rings me every single day (which is new..) but then i came accross messages between him and his mate from back home.

his answer to his mates question "i thought u were gonna ditch the *itch" was: - "yeah i moved out but still seeing her, she is a filthy *bitch, down to earth and a lot better that the other girls"


now, that is not very nice, and personally i feel hurt. why is he being sweet and nice to me, and to his friend, that i dont even know but am suppose to meet in april next year when he is taking me to scotland for a wedding and to meet his family!!! he is saying things like that???

i dont know what to think or feel.

im so very sad and disappointed today..

please help..
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

This messages that you "ran across" between your bf and his mate were mach boy talk. These hard Scotsman are not going to way things like "my sweetheart is such a nice person and so romantic".

What was said was actually complimentary to you - very much so. They have to use the "B" word to minimize the fact that they are soft and caring about a woman. Men are supposed to be duur (hard) in Scotland. When he calls you a filthy bitch, he is saying that you are a great lover. Furthermore, he has put you way above all the other women he knows. He says you are "down to earth and a lot better that the other girls".

In other words, he thinks you are great.

AND he is bringing you to Scotland to meet friends and family. He tried to leave you but seems to be quite stuck on you.

I wouldn't worry. I think he believes that you are a "keeper".

I wish you great good fortune.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Aw Elliott, thank you so much for your advise...


I hope so, i really do, and that was why i was so confused, as he is nice to me and then said that to his mate.. and yes, you are correct in stating the scottsman's lack of romance, hehe.. but what can i say, i love the man to bits...


Thank you again and take care




Dear Di,

I was married to a Scotswoman for many years and lived over there for awhile. I speak from experience. You will be fine.

God bless,

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