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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I fell in love with a gorgeous, brilliant and accomplished

Customer Question

I fell in love with a gorgeous, brilliant and accomplished man from cameroon, west africa. we dated and had the best conversations and times. i've loved him for a year and we'd just started dating for about three months or so. well, last night he tells me that he is sorry he has been distant, but that he is trying to work things out with a woman (from cameroon - that he has known from there forever) who is living in las vegas and working as a pharmacist. says he cares about me - did not want to leave me, actually walked over to the car twice, before I pulled off and seemed as broken up about it as i did. Now, i think he is promised to this woman, because both their fathers are in Cameroonian politics (in congress) and this is typical in that area. But if things are so awesome, then why isn't she in Virginia with him, instead of across the country? i think he is dragging out this pre-planned marriage (he's 31) - because he doesn't want to be with her for real. I mean there are pharmacies everywhere...why isn't she here? He told me that they are "trying" and that he wanted to avoid any trouble for me. I am so jealous, I could scream. some people truly have it all, i guess, and for some reason, i can't seem to get ONE break and have the person that I love.

Well, my heart is literally broken. I have to work for him again next year, and I'm devestated about it. we also have client holidays to attend together. Should i just let it go? I mean isn't there a chance that he could just buck the system on this one? Should I tell him to please reconsider?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.
Unfortunately you can't convince someone to stop what they are motivated to do. You may consider that this situation could result in heartache. The safe choice is to tell him that he can pursue his other interest. This would help you distance yourself from the situation and avoid getting hurt any further. If you want to really know if this is going to work you should go with your heart. Even though this choice can cause you heartache you would know once and for all if you will be a couple. Chances are that if he is considering another relationship then that sends a signal that he may not be open to a new relationship and that he is being faithful to the words he is giving his girlfriend. Her location is unimportant. The fact remains that he is telling her something to keep her connected. I would begin to let go.