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Ask Jen Helant Your Own Question
Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi Jen, Its me again. I sent him the birthday card through

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Hi Jen,
It's me again. I sent him the birthday card through email. Let's call him Kent so it's easier to identify. Kent got the card and he replied back and said that he liked it - he said it's really "cute and clever." - anyway, i showed it to a friend of mine who is curious about the card let's call him Walter.
Walter and I have been talking about Kent for about 2 weeks and Walter noticed that i really like Kent. When Walter saw the email address of Kent, he sent Kent an email and told Kent that I really liked him for a long time now and told Kent on the email that if he is interested in me, he should ask me out on a date.
I found out by accident that Walter emailed Kent so I was upset at Walter, this all happened just yesterday. Well, the worse part is, I never heard from Kent even after all what Walter told him.
How long should I wait to know if Kent is really interested? It's only a day anyway.
Good to hear from you!

Wow that is a biggie!!! I can't believe Walter did that. That was very aggressive and can understand why you would be upset. However, it may help in the long run since it wasn't you doing it, so it's not your fault. Its only been a day, so I would not worry about it. Just need to wait and see what happens. He may want to do it in person or may email you. Who knows if he even read the email yet. Then he needs to digest all of it. Like we spoke about before he may be insecure and not believe someone would be so interested in him. He may not know how to respond or sure if he can believe Walter especially if he does not know him. There's a lot of issues involved and its not so simple as just if he is interested or not. There may be other things running through his head with this email. I would just wait it out and give it some time. It is too soon to tell. When do you think the next time you will see him?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I might see him Tues or Wed. My boss just hired a new guy that will start on Monday and Kent will be coming to configure some computer set-ups, I think.

This is the first time I will see him and he knows for sure that i like him.

Sometimes i was thinking of not showing up when he's there, but i don't want to miss the opportunity bec who knows he's planning to ask me out and if i'm not there, i miss it already and he might just shy away to try next time, not sure what is in his mind.

Maybe when i see Kent, i'll just act like nothing happened. don't know what to do. Walter really caused me this headache but that's okay, maybe he did me a favor by telling him, you know, guy to guy. Walter said that if a girl likes him, he would like to know. he even said that he prefers that she tells him herself.

Anyway, that's all. Help me how to behave when i see him? What do i do? Or what do i not do?

I agree with you. I think you should be there and just be yourself. Be friendly and how you usually are nothing more or less and see what he does. There could be a chance he may act professionally at work and nothing more because of the setting. I don't know if you get a chance to talk in privately at work, but he may not want anything to be known there. However, maybe he will give you a look or smile. But in any case I would just be yourself and follow his lead. See what he does and says then go from there.
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