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Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience:  21 years as Psychotherapist & Relationship Specialist
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I have a question about relationships, my relationship with

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I have a question about relationships, my relationship with myself actually.

I've had a rough year. Well, one could say I've had a rough number of years. My social circle is quite limited, consisting of family and a few online relationships. After my fifth hospitalization this year, I have spent the last month to myself.

I have been gone anywhere. Gone out socially and only once or twice left the house for the purpose of interacting socially with strangers in the hope of developing friendships. Up until the last couple of days, I have been content to be alone with occasional interactions with my father and other family members.

I mean, I have not felt lonely or isolated, although living with my father I could consider myself being completely alone.

My question is is this normal for someone. Is it normal for someone to separate themselves from the world, as it were. I mean, besides my father, the only people I see are my personal attendants who help me a few hours throughout the day because of my physical handicap. No one no one

is it normal for someone to want to be alone? Maybe not alone forever but for long periods of time.

Dr. D. Brown :

Hello. Let me take a minute to review your question.

Dr. D. Brown :

Let me see if I understand. You are wondering if it is okay to spend a good deal of time alone and want to know if this is "normal". I think it is perfectly fine to do this, especially if you enjoy it and like being by yourself. Some people are just naturally more introverted and enjoy long periods of solitude. If you were distraught by it, that would be another situation. You may just not have high attachment needs which is perfectly fine and nothing to worry about. Does this answer your question?

Dr. D. Brown :

Please let me know if there is anything else you need. I also wanted to comment that during particular times in life, our needs to be with others may vary. It sounds like this is a time when you are focusing on health and healing and not necessarily a time where you are connecting with new people. All this is perfectly normal and part of the different life phases we go through. If I have answered your question satisfactorily, I would greatly appreciate a positive rating. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service. Take good care.


Well, actually, I would like more people to socialize with, to have more friends besides those that I pay to help me. I have very few and the one or two I do have I don't see very much at all.


Well, actually, I don't want to be alone and do want more friends to socialize with, to talk to, to be missed and to want me around. Unfortunate, for a number of reasons, I have not had much luck making friends. Or, friends of the kind I would like to have. Online friends are nice but just not the same kind of relationship as friends one can interact or become familiar with in person. Like I said, after the extended hospitalizations, I have felt defeated physically and emotionally. Physically because of the trauma my body has been through and emotionally because of my perceived failures to sufficiently enrich my life with a proper social circle social circle or support group. Now, I'm not sure my reactions are that of someone with drawing from life, from the world, even though I still feel the need to create a life beyond the walls of my room and outside of the hospital environment. So, I hope I answered your questions and would appreciate any more insight you may have, thank you.

Dr. D. Brown and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Yes, I think I am getting a better understanding of your situation. I am not sure what type of disability you have, but is it something that you can go to a support group for? Support groups for people with the same types of health challenges can be a great way to make new friends who understand your situation.

It does sound, though, that maybe you are a little depressed. Withdrawing from life and not being interested in your normal activities can be a sign of this. I would talk to your doctor about this and see what they recommend. If you are on medications, they may be causing the depression. The other suggestion is to try to join some form of exercise group if you are able with your disability. Yoga is great for people with physical challenges and there is often a great yogi community to go along with that. Get out every day if you can. Staying in your room may make you feel worse.

I hope that helps. I appreciate a positive rating if you are happy with my response. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am going through Well,

Yes, sometimes I do get down. Depressed me being strong word to describe my feelings right now.

Your suggestions are not unlike what I've heard before. Unfortunately, my disability and financial situation prevents me from attending as many such social events, like a support group, that would provide the possibility of having more friends or a richer social life or life for that matter.

I'm trying to hold it together and focus on what's important to me, especially my health. My family is supportive but often is at arms length, although some are better than others. I have my father who is my rock but just worry about the future.

I'm trying to hold it together and focus on the positive. But, after 15+ years of repeated attempts to not only make friends but to find employment or something meaningful to contribute to all without success is to say the least frustrating.

Speaking with you, I hope to find answers and advice to help me better mentally cope with my situation.

Maybe I'm just venting

Venting is ok. Perhaps that is part of the problem- that you don't feel you have your "person", one person that you can reveal everything to and not feel judged. Having even one person like that can make life feel a lot more rewarding. I would really look into getting involved in some type of group and with a little digging, I bet you could find a low-cost alternative for people with depression. Sharing your feelings and being validated goes a long way towards healing isolation.

If you can tell me where you live, perhaps I can make some suggestions on the best places to look. Community mental health clinics, graduate schools and private therapy clinics with a sliding scale, all may be possibilities. 12-Step groups such as AA are excellent as well, but it doesn't sound like you have an addiction. If there are other compulsive behaviors like smoking, marijuana, sex, etc. or even codependency, 12-step groups exist for all of these. Church groups or meditation groups are also excellent, but these are very personal decisions.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service. Best of luck to you. Kindly rate my service as positive if you feel that your needs were met. If not, please let me know what else I can do. Thank you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

live in Illinois right outside Chicago.

Well, if you have transportation I would imagine there are a myriad of support services in Chicago. If you have a doctor that you see for your disability, I would ask for referrals. Your doctor should know of resources for you in that area. I hope that helps. Take good care and best of luck.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.
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