Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

I have a question about relationships, my relationship with

myself actually. I've had a rough...
I have a question about relationships, my relationship with myself actually.

I've had a rough year. Well, one could say I've had a rough number of years. My social circle is quite limited, consisting of family and a few online relationships. After my fifth hospitalization this year, I have spent the last month to myself.

I have been gone anywhere. Gone out socially and only once or twice left the house for the purpose of interacting socially with strangers in the hope of developing friendships. Up until the last couple of days, I have been content to be alone with occasional interactions with my father and other family members.

I mean, I have not felt lonely or isolated, although living with my father I could consider myself being completely alone.

My question is is this normal for someone. Is it normal for someone to separate themselves from the world, as it were. I mean, besides my father, the only people I see are my personal attendants who help me a few hours throughout the day because of my physical handicap. No one no one

is it normal for someone to want to be alone? Maybe not alone forever but for long periods of time.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 2 hours by:
11/25/2012
Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience: 21 years as Psychotherapist & Relationship Specialist
Verified

Dr. D. Brown :

Hello. Let me take a minute to review your question.

Dr. D. Brown :

Let me see if I understand. You are wondering if it is okay to spend a good deal of time alone and want to know if this is "normal". I think it is perfectly fine to do this, especially if you enjoy it and like being by yourself. Some people are just naturally more introverted and enjoy long periods of solitude. If you were distraught by it, that would be another situation. You may just not have high attachment needs which is perfectly fine and nothing to worry about. Does this answer your question?

Dr. D. Brown :

Please let me know if there is anything else you need. I also wanted to comment that during particular times in life, our needs to be with others may vary. It sounds like this is a time when you are focusing on health and healing and not necessarily a time where you are connecting with new people. All this is perfectly normal and part of the different life phases we go through. If I have answered your question satisfactorily, I would greatly appreciate a positive rating. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service. Take good care.

Customer:

Well, actually, I would like more people to socialize with, to have more friends besides those that I pay to help me. I have very few and the one or two I do have I don't see very much at all.


Customer:

Well, actually, I don't want to be alone and do want more friends to socialize with, to talk to, to be missed and to want me around. Unfortunate, for a number of reasons, I have not had much luck making friends. Or, friends of the kind I would like to have. Online friends are nice but just not the same kind of relationship as friends one can interact or become familiar with in person. Like I said, after the extended hospitalizations, I have felt defeated physically and emotionally. Physically because of the trauma my body has been through and emotionally because of my perceived failures to sufficiently enrich my life with a proper social circle social circle or support group. Now, I'm not sure my reactions are that of someone with drawing from life, from the world, even though I still feel the need to create a life beyond the walls of my room and outside of the hospital environment. So, I hope I answered your questions and would appreciate any more insight you may have, thank you.

Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience: 21 years as Psychotherapist & Relationship Specialist
Verified
Dr. D. Brown and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Yes, I think I am getting a better understanding of your situation. I am not sure what type of disability you have, but is it something that you can go to a support group for? Support groups for people with the same types of health challenges can be a great way to make new friends who understand your situation.

It does sound, though, that maybe you are a little depressed. Withdrawing from life and not being interested in your normal activities can be a sign of this. I would talk to your doctor about this and see what they recommend. If you are on medications, they may be causing the depression. The other suggestion is to try to join some form of exercise group if you are able with your disability. Yoga is great for people with physical challenges and there is often a great yogi community to go along with that. Get out every day if you can. Staying in your room may make you feel worse.

I hope that helps. I appreciate a positive rating if you are happy with my response. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 5 years ago


I am going through Well,


Yes, sometimes I do get down. Depressed me being strong word to describe my feelings right now.


Your suggestions are not unlike what I've heard before. Unfortunately, my disability and financial situation prevents me from attending as many such social events, like a support group, that would provide the possibility of having more friends or a richer social life or life for that matter.


I'm trying to hold it together and focus on what's important to me, especially my health. My family is supportive but often is at arms length, although some are better than others. I have my father who is my rock but just worry about the future.


I'm trying to hold it together and focus on the positive. But, after 15+ years of repeated attempts to not only make friends but to find employment or something meaningful to contribute to all without success is to say the least frustrating.


Speaking with you, I hope to find answers and advice to help me better mentally cope with my situation.


Maybe I'm just venting

Venting is ok. Perhaps that is part of the problem- that you don't feel you have your "person", one person that you can reveal everything to and not feel judged. Having even one person like that can make life feel a lot more rewarding. I would really look into getting involved in some type of group and with a little digging, I bet you could find a low-cost alternative for people with depression. Sharing your feelings and being validated goes a long way towards healing isolation.

If you can tell me where you live, perhaps I can make some suggestions on the best places to look. Community mental health clinics, graduate schools and private therapy clinics with a sliding scale, all may be possibilities. 12-Step groups such as AA are excellent as well, but it doesn't sound like you have an addiction. If there are other compulsive behaviors like smoking, marijuana, sex, etc. or even codependency, 12-step groups exist for all of these. Church groups or meditation groups are also excellent, but these are very personal decisions.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service. Best of luck to you. Kindly rate my service as positive if you feel that your needs were met. If not, please let me know what else I can do. Thank you.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

I
live in Illinois right outside Chicago.

Well, if you have transportation I would imagine there are a myriad of support services in Chicago. If you have a doctor that you see for your disability, I would ask for referrals. Your doctor should know of resources for you in that area. I hope that helps. Take good care and best of luck.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.
Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
Experience: 21 years as Psychotherapist & Relationship Specialist
Verified
Dr. D. Brown and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Dr. D. Brown Your Own Question
Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown
Dr. D. Brown, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 17
17 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 21 years as Psychotherapist & Relationship Specialist

Dr. D. Brown is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I went though my girlfriends phone and she was watching me
I went though my girlfriends phone and she was watching me to see what I was going through and looking at and was wondering if that's a red flag .She said she just wanted to see what I was looking at … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I was only conceived for the mental health of my elder
I was only conceived for the mental health of my elder sister who was a mistake. Is this a reasonably normal background please?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
For expert: today I am arriving at his city and stay for two
For expert Martin: Hi today I am arriving at his city and stay for two weeks. I haven't contacted him since that grumpy message probably because I m not happy that he was avoiding me. Now can you give… read more
Martin
Martin
Electrical engineer
Bachelor's Degree
486 satisfied customers
My wife and I have been married 40 years. In sorting photos
My wife and I have been married 40 years. In sorting photos I noticed while organizing our old photos that she kept a number of photos (7 or 8) of an old boy friend. She dated him off and on for about… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
I am a 38-year-old male and work full-time in
Hello I am a 38-year-old male and work full-time in law-enforcement. Over five years ago I met a woman through my work and her daughter was 11 at the time. She was with somebody then so I thought noth… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My girlfriend and I were dating for around a year and we
my girlfriend and I were dating for around a year and we attend the same church . We had both been out of long term relationships and healed each other before forming our own relationship. We were going great and madly Inlove .her behavior was amazing towards me with no signs of changing for the worse up until November 2017 we were having these tiny but annoying arguments mostly caused by me and my trust issues I will admit . So I called her one morning to make up for an argument we had the night before and she suddenly tells me she doesn't love me anymore and she does not want the relationship anymore . I freeze but go about the usual desperate plead and beg route which made her even more upset . We attend church that Sunday and when she sees me she feels the love again and we speak normal for 2 weeks not officially together yet but making moves she evens sends me a detailed email telling me how impressed she is and it will help us going forward . I push to hard the next day of this email and upset her all over again. That weekend before Christmas 2017 she goes totally cold towards me and destroys me in a phone call and tells me I am obsessed with her etc. she drops me a further bombshell the week of Christmas by telling me she is going to meet her ex for breakfast and I need to be mature about it . I decide then and there I am done with this and I cut off all contact with her . No calls or texts and emails . So about 2 weeks go by and she sends me a text ‘hey you have just crossed my mind hope you are well' I respond 5 hours later with ‘I am well . Hope you well,take care' the next week she sends me a pointless text to which I just respond with thank you and this week she sends me a long detailed apology email informing me that she is sorry for pain she had caused me and I am truly a great guy and she doesn't understand why she had so much built up anger toward me and till this day she can't seem to know why she got so upset with me and she doesn't deserve me etc . I responded with a simple thanks for the apology and she said she does not know why she took so long to apologize something just held her back . I don't hate her at all it not in my nature to hold grudges but this girl ruined my holidays and told me really hurtful stuff while she was out having a blast . And now suddenly she feels apologetic. Please advise … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Whenever I'm talking to a girl, I get incredibly jealous
Whenever I'm talking to a girl, I get incredibly jealous when they mention or are with hanging other guys. (I'm a 20 year old guy) I don't know why though, I don't like getting jealous but I can't hel… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why
If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why doesnt he leave instead of giving me false hope?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is
My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is awake when I'm not with him, doesn't want to sleep in the same bed because he wants to stretch out, be alone, and most recently tells me that I… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
If you are there I would like to describe the situation,
Jen, if you are there I would like to describe the situation, which I asked you about yesterday, in more detail as I would value your opinion.… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
second opinion] Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting with another guy while I was talking to my current boyfriend. I never told him and tried to hide it. Now he knows and is questioning my trust… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little of each? Im an insecure anxious attachment type for sure.... i always need reassurance and stuff from my gf... my gf in the beginning was alr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at work I thought he was good looking we hit it off as friends. He had me staying over his place a lot, then I found out he was gay/bi I start… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My question is about a possible beginning to a relationship.
Hello this is Brian, my question is about a possible beginning to a relationship … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex girlfriend come over to visit even though you tell him to it really bothers you… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have chirldren with a previous partner and we still keep the family house and gather. But my family has not accepted my new partner 'although she is ever… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from unhappy 30+year
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from long unhappy 30+year marriage told me he keeps thinking bout old girlfriend and how he has always wondered about her and how/where she is. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x