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Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
I am sorry to hear about this.
This is an unhealthy triangle.
Your husband should be aligned with you and your feelings should take priority.
He needs to sever the relationship with the other person and start behavior in a mature manner and seek his narcissistic reinforcement in another venue-
Kind regards, Bill
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The next time she calls here I would like to tell her that I am uncomfortable with a young woman calling my husband out for tennis and not to call back.
Is this reasonable?