Hi Dr Paige,
I am reading men are from Mars and women are from Venus and I am finding it very interesting. Thats for the recommendation.
I have another question, I will try not to take too much advantage of your help online but I think it is necessary to take the best road to recovery for me, so I come out a stronger, mature person.
It has been 3 months now since me and my ex broke up, I think about her every day, I had a break down just after it happened but I think I am on the tail end of it now. She contacted me recently after 3 months of no contact asking if she could call me over the weekend to talk about things and sort everything out. She told me she misses me and so on.
I responded asking what she wanted to achieve by doing this after 3 months of silence, and what exactly did she want to talk about (reconciliation or friendship, or possibly an act because she feels guilty?) She replied saying that she misses me a lot and that she knows we fought through our friendship (which confuses me because we just broke up, to me it sounds as though she wants friendship) and that she wants to talk about our issues and sort them out. I have boundaries with her know, knowing that she didn't consider my feelings or show me the respect I deserve, and I replied asking what she ultimately was hoping to achieve by and what her desired outcome would be from this talk? I then asked if she wanted friendship, and followed on say that I won't promise anything.
I really do not want friendship with her, in my eyes thats like her having her slice of the cake and eating it to. And I don't want her to think she can just walk in and out of my life that easily at her own leisure when the going gets tough.
She messaged me back saying 'ok don't worry about it then, hope your well'.
I said 'No worries, but I am giving you a chance to talk, if you don't want it, then we will leave it at that'.
My questions are what outcome do you think she wants out of this? And I do really want to know, but I do not want to sound desperate. Should I msg her again and encourage to talk about all this? Or should I leave it at the last msg I sent her?
Sorry I know this is hard to answer, as I comes down to the way I feel
but I do highly appreciate your opinion.