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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am divorced and been with my new girlfriend for 4 yours living

Customer Question

I am divorced and been with my new girlfriend for 4 yours living together for 2 of them. we get on great, dont argue, great sex life and get on great together. the problem is that i have 2 kids from my marriage and it has always been an issue between us. Now after 4 yrs together se has said she does not think it will work because of the kids. Only recently we have been talking about marriage and kids.
today she has gone to her sisters to stay for a few days, is it the end of our relationship?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.
It would not make sense that it is over given the length of time you have been together and because the issue at hand is an issue that can be resolved. Children can be a huge stressor but when two people work together this is resolved through compromise. First you have to hear her complaints - and without being defensive. Children that only belong to you can cause you to be partial to them. A mate does not have these feelings. So the key is to develop compromises that will please her and not have her feel like you are choosing them over her. Always remember that she doesn't have to have a role if she doesn't want to. Offer to spend alone time together if that is the issue. Something is making her feel that you "love " them more so spend a reasonable amount of time really looking into specifically has given her such grief. If you satisfy her needs you may find that it blows over.