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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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I ran out of Seroquel and had to try ad sleep without it tonight...

Customer Question

I ran out of Seroquel and had to try ad sleep without it tonight... LOL FAIL

well I slept for like 20 mintues. had a weird ass dream. and woke up.

I tried to sedate myself w/ pornographic material... DIDNT WORK.

Last month was not very pleasant. I lost $4K or so in poker. in that I have no remorse. I am a winning player lifetime in the 6 figures and will accept bumps in the road. but it appears my boredom with life caused me to lose money in other avenues... I began investing in other players' poker, and didn't pan out... I also lost in sportsbetting. Ive become SO addicted to sportsbetting. it consumed my entire weekend. All weekend I literally just watched sports, bet them, ate, surfed the web.

My mind is ruminating about the Spaniard now. She is coming back to Vegas in December... I miss my days with her. her skin is SO f**kING SMOOTH... god damn... that is the kind of companionship I really enjoy... my male friends don't fulfill me... neither do my cats... or my family... god DAMN her LIPS are SO f**king soft... but she's a whore! :(

Well yes, I plan to go see her... I can't believe the best days of my year center around this woman... it makes no sense... its so... "sad". but I don't care. let's just let accept it for what it is.

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 4 years ago.
Hi there,

Just a thought, and I'm not a medical doctor so you'd have to check with your psychiatrist, but have you tried Remeron (mitrazapine)? It's one of the best medications for insomnia/sleep problems and it's also used to treat bipolar. Food for thought...but not getting enough sleep can affect you in so many ways(psychological and physical) so if this pattern continues I'd definitely discuss it with the psychiatrist or your GP. And if you're feeling worse in other areas, maybe sooner rather than later is a good idea...

Anyway, it's too bad about your poker losses, but you always seem to bounce back in this area. So maybe it's just a temporary lapse - maybe you just need a break from it - it's like anything else, too much of a good thing is never good. As far as the Spaniard, I can understand why you're feeling this way, especially in light of our past conversations, and there's nothing wrong with it in terms of companionship and/or meeting "other" needs. Just try to keep your feet on the ground - and just see it for what it is. Hang in there, and stay in touch, ok?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I see it for what it is but it PISSES me off... I fantasize a dream life with her that PROBABLY CAN'T HAPPEN due to LOGISTICAL AND LANGUAGE barriers.. amongst other things... nobody has EVER in the HISTORY of man said they met their future wife in a paid threesome..


Im hoping to be the first :)

Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 4 years ago.
I know you do. And I know you think it's strange but a lot of people have fantasies that, while not the same, are similar in the sense that it provides them with an escape from their daily life and/or problems. So I suppose that's why I say see it for what it is - that is, she probably won't become your future wife (not to say that it's completely out of the realm of possibility, of course, but let's keep things realistic here), but she does fulfill certain needs for you (and I'm not just talking physical.) Then again, you never know. But I'm just saying try not to put all your eggs in one basket. You can enjoy the experience and her company without it having to mean "everything" or that your whole future depends on her. Just try not to let your imagination go overboard.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

ugh... lost in sportsbetting today. sent me into an existential crisis. I've been obsessed with sportsbetting the last week, researching info, looking for obscure stats to try and give me an edge... guess not... batting .500 on the month. that's a loser.


I'll give you a rundown of the day. I woke up at noon, just around the time the games started. I went to grab food, twice... I chain smoked all day and sat glued to the laptop and TV... I felt the pain as my losses piled up throughout the day. I eagerly hoped the nightcap of games would allow me to at least break even... nope, so then I went off into existential crisis. All alone I was, with my cats... all day.


MAN I'm SO bored... why can't that "lightbulb" click inside my head? what am I doing w/ my life? Sigh... see it is times like this where I miss that Spaniard... soft f**kING skin.


I just don't know what to say without sounding... "lame". I don't wanna go out to the bars, I don't wanna play poker, I don't wanna work w/ my dad... that left w/ me sportsbetting... and now this bitter taste of losing makes me realize I don't wanna do that... which leave me a lot of "floating time".. that'll drive anyone to insanity.. what makes me happy... I don't even know... probably the Spaniard. or someone of equivalent attractive value...or maybe I'm just deluding myself.


maybe... just maybe some of us are wired to have trouble finding happiness... a chemical and genetic predisposition perhaps.. sometimes I feel like maybe that's me.

I recall some days in my childhood.. where I had an empty feeling sometimes, had phobias and worries... I think to myself, some of the present day problems aren't just a byproduct of adolesecence...they were existing previously.


I feel a lot of the events of this year are indirectly related to something in the mind... getting robbed by a stripper, falling in love w/ a hooker, binges on jewelry, stringent diets, sports betting, a lot of them to me dictate some sort of malaise that I don't know how to cure. It appears in the pursuit of happiness I went on these tangents, only to wind up still unhappy. I wonder if all of this is even making sense, I am just typing exactly what comes to my mind.


And on that note... her lips are so god DAMN juicy... she surely would've eased today.

Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 4 years ago.
I'm listening to you, but I'm not sure if I can offer any more help aside from what I've said in my previous messages, aside from some thoughts. I think you're right on some level, in terms of chemical and genetic predispositions, but on the other, I think people have to try to take active steps toward creating their own happiness. Some people are more contemplative than others and they think more about the "bigger" meaning and have a harder time distracting themselves with the things (activities, thoughts, etc) than others do. So maybe you fit into this category indeed. But I think you have to try to not let yourself ruminate, because that only makes the hole feel bigger. Best wishes.