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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My boyfriend mentioned marriage a couple of times recently.

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My boyfriend mentioned marriage a couple of times recently. we haven't dated long. He said that if we're still together in 2 years he wants to propose. I was surprised and didn't know what to say. I didn't think this would happen to me. He wants to wait until he's more financially secure.

I would like to help. Were you wanting to marry sooner or do you not think you would be ready in 2 years?

Let me know how I can help.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Probably not yet. We have dated less than 6 months.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
My boyfriend is also graduating from uni so wouldn't have the money yet .
Thanks for your response. So it seemed that this came as a shock to you. I would not take it in a bad way. He may just have strong feelings for you and looking positive on the future plans. Seems like he likes you a lot, so he thought if you both are still together in 2 years that would mean things are good, so could propose. Also, he may not necessarily want to marry in 2 years, but people sometimes stay in engaged for years. Therefore you can still be financially ready before marriage. This seems like maybe more than what you was expecting from him. I would take it that he likes you a lot. If you like him the same and think this could be a possibility then I would leave it at that. However, if you do not hold the same feelings at all and never see that chance then you may want to tell him, so you do not lead him on.

I wish you well. Please let me know if I can be of further help.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I just want to be with him all The time. I don't know how important a ring is. I come from a strict family. Yet one of my cousins is married and cheats on her anyway.
So it does sound like you feel the same way. I agree a ring means nothing if the relationship is good. If the relationship is good then marriage is wonderful. It is a commitment "official" between the two of you under God if you do that as well. You have time to think about marriage since the relationship is still new, but the fact that you love to be with him is a good sign. As the relationship grows then you can decide how you feel about marriage and plans financially. At this point I would suggest enjoying the relationship, not worrying, and growing closer to each other.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

It doesn't seem that way at all. When they lie all the time. They have also been really unsupportive e.g when I wanted to do modelling and this went in one ear and out the other. They didn't help me at all. Another time I got dumped cruelly and they gave me no support. Why do they lie when everyone has kids my age? Then I get dumped and laughed at by people for still living at home. This also goes in one and ear and out the other.

I think this was for your other question, so I will respond on that thread.