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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Im in absolute love with a guy, I have been for a year we

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I'm in absolute love with a guy, I have been for a year we just started dating. Sometimes he returns my text messages a whole day later. I was emotionally rejected by my ex-husband for years, and when he does this, it puts me back into that state of mind. Should I share this with him, or is it too emotionally weighty?

I am sorry you are going through this and I do understand how this can worry you especially when it brings back very bad memories for you. You have loved this guy for a long time and finally started dating don't let your past ruin it. Enjoy this "honeymoon" phase of dating. Some people are busy or not big "texters". I would not worry so much, but rather look at the entire relationship as a whole. See how he treats you if he is good to you, shows you respect, and talks with you. All these are good signs. As things progress he may get better at the texting. Let things grow naturally. If this still bothers you if you feel able then you could mention it to him. You can tell him you had a bad relationship and that reminds you of it. Tell him you just want to be sure he is not doing the same. However, I would not recommend talking about this now unless you really feel you need to and it is bothering you because it could make him get worried that you may become to "clingy" or have issues due to your past relationship. You just don't want him to get worried about something that is not true or get the wrong idea, but like I said if you need to tell him then that is what you need to do because sometimes getting it off our chest can make us feel better.

In any case I wouldn't worry to much at this point. I would look at the relationship as a whole. You can even mention it casually or in a funny way. Enjoy this stage of the relationship and remind yourself this is a whole new person and not your ex. Let him prove himself to you and try not to compare.

I wish you gentle wishes and please let me know if I can be of further help.


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