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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My boyfriend of 20 years found out he has a 24 yr. old daughter

Customer Question

My boyfriend of 20 years found out he has a 24 yr. old daughter and4 yr. granddaughter. we met them last month. now im home from back surgery he's going to fl. to be with them for 4 days going to walt disney. I dont care but the ex girfriend is going they are staying in condo. I said the wrong thing he's mad says it shouldn't bother me
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 4 years ago.

I understand your point and it is concerning. The problem is right now he is filled with emotions right now and that is probably the last thing on his mind right now. I do agree with you that it is strange that they are in the same condo. I am assuming it will be separate bedrooms. There are 2 ways you can approach this. First off you can apologize to him for making him upset. Let him know you did not mean it. This you can do regardless just to clear the water. Let him know you do not think it is right, but are sorry if it came out the wrong way. After that you can go one of two routes. You can just accept it this time since this is a very joyful moment and he may be so excited right now not thinking straight. Then if it happens again try talking with him about it or you can talk about this to him again. If you do not want to accept it this time you can sit him down and talk with him explaining how happy you are and how you do not want him to think you are not in anyway. You just feel strange them sleeping in the same condo. Ask him to see it from your side and what if it was the other way around. Let him know you would respect him and still look out for the relationship even though you would be ecstatic as well. Maybe a compromise can be made and something can be worked out where you both can agree on to meet in the middle.

I wish you well and please let me know if I can be of further help.