Hi Dr. Paige
Thank you once again for the compliment.. haha
It's definitely NOT easy. And I'm not the type that like to play a mind games... Actually lastly I have something to ask (or more of the reminder in my head). Just now he came and he told me he has to go out with his dad and he was all dressed up. Frankly.. Sometimes I feel like he's playing this games that getting me jealous cause lately I have been out with friend and I'm trying to dress up whenever I have chance (just to keep my mind off things - not to find a new target)
and cause he asked me before he left "Do you want me to bring dinner? or you will be ok"
Si in my head.. it's spinning like..
" are you going out ALL DAY ? " (He needs his power nap. He can't live without it)
and my panic mind will create this fearful illusion.. that maybe he's with a girl! and I know that it's not since we always together (even break up.. I don't think dropping my food or even like yesterday sleeping over at our place would be cool to any girls and he's really really is not a bad guy.. he might be a bit pain in the arse but not bad).
I feel like he's trying to trigger my mind.
I know I SHOULD NEVER EVER ask if he has someone else cause he would then bring up past like.. "I knew it that you never ever trust me" (especially in the past, he always jealous over guy friends or how they approached me) he will always say "I'm not you. And I don't think you are in a position to even doubt!"
So I DONT want to ask cause I want him to be positive and don't think I'm being emotional again.
But he texted him just now asking "You will be sleeping over at your parents?" and he said 'probably' then with..
" why? are you bringing guys in the house? lol
dont sleep together on my bed! seriously! I dont want it to have stain! lol lol "
i know he's trying to be funny.. but I kinda get a little pissed at it.
So I said " Slow down animal. I'm not you lol. I just simply asked coz you might want to slp on your bed. Could have some respect. "
I don't understand why he does that!
I don't think we need to talk anymore I think like you said, it's his move now and he has to make decision on his mind. can you please just tell me what to do lol. I feel like deep down we do love each other so much but I don't want to feel fear of losing him or him being like this..