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RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I met a wonderful man whom I have been seeing for 2 months.

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I met a wonderful man whom I have been seeing for 2 months. The issue is that he had issues with sustaining a "hard on". He went to the doctor and received Viagra. Tried one pill and that did nothing so he tried two which also did nothing. After that I knew he was upset but tried to explain to him that we can try other things. He texted me the other day to say it was over since he did not want to be humiliated ever again. I am having a hard time with this as I never complained about it and wanted to help. Should I move on or give it some time and talk to him? I have tried talking to him but he is avoiding me. Please help me.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or c

onfidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this frustrating situation.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Impotence is a very common issue and could be devastating deeply undermining relationships and lives when the person does not know how to cope with it getting necessary support. First the person needs to be sure there is no medical problem behind this issue. I assume the doctor made a thorough evaluation in order to conclude there is no medical problem, otherwise treatment plan would have been developed with necessary referrals. Unhappily it seems he did not get any referral for psychotherapy or counseling for sexual disorders, which are the necessary treatment option in cases like this.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Using viagra or any other drug would not resolve the core issues leading to impotence nor impotence itself as he already knows now. It is very sad how he decided to end the relationship because of this. Obviously the

re is nothing wrong about your reaction and the way you have tried to support him, there was nothing better you could have done about it, but it's obvious he has personal issues undermining his ability to cope and assertively work on solutions.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

My suggestion is for you not to push him by trying to talk to him now once he's already set a boundary avoiding contact with you. Give him time to work on himself, and be honest towards yourself about the period of time you are willing to wait to see if he truly does something about these problems or not. You could send a message suggesting him to get professional psychotherapy or counseling in order to work on anxiety and any other possible problem leading to the sexual issue. After that everything depend on him.


Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?



yes it makes alot of sense thought unfortunetly does not make it any easier for me. I have been told I am too caring and that is why I can not let go.

Thank you

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, it is a tough situation, but it is also necessary for you to come to terms with the fact he has personal issues causing and keeping this sexual disorder and unless he chooses to work on himself with professional support, his chances for rehabilitation are not high. This is a painful reality to cope with, but necessary for you to take good care of yourself, learn from it and heal stronger and wiser. Thanks for your trust. Please take gentle care.


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