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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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i have an odd “relationship” with a guy who i met year ago,

Customer Question

i have an odd “relationship” with a guy who i met year ago, first date didn’t go well, 5 minutes after he picked me up we got in car accident(he was driving) he made a left turn with out looking (he was steering at me) nobody got hurt... and we still went out for dinner try to make a best of it . we texted 2-3 weeks but.. year later i texted him and he respond and since than we are texting, first 2 weeks was just 2-3 texts a day but now its all day. he is scorpio and i am a virgo. i asked him if he liked me he sad yes, its more 2 months already and we only live 15 minutes from each other. i asked him once to go out he sad yes i love to but he couldnt that weekend but texted me 100 times. i dont want to ask him out again and his not asking either. i do have a thing for him, we have great chemistry but i’m confused why wont he wants to see me? if his not in to me why keeps texting? i dont want to be pushy but i’m not sure what to do .. should i continue this? please help
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.
Yes, it is strange that he does not want to see you, but keeps tenting you. It is hard to say exactly why, but a few reasons could be he is busy or he may be in a relationship that is not so great, but doesn't want to tell you and is afraid to hurt her. This may not be true. Its just strange why he keeps putting seeing you off and this could be a reason.

Another reason could be that car accident traumatized him and he is afraid to see you again and put you in danger. It is very difficult to tell what goes on in someones mind.

I think you have done your part. If you really like him and since he texts you so much then I would try asking him a few more times and see what happens. I would try arranging something to meet him somewhere where he would not need to pick you up and make sure you have a way to get home all planned out, so he does not feel obligated to take you. But make sure it is natural and doesn't seem like you don't want him to take you. This will then at least remove the fact that he could be traumatized to take you somewhere due to the car accident. Then you would be able to see if it is that or not.

If he still does not want to go out then I would say have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel and your concerns. Tell him in a nice way and then go from there. If he doesn't want to talk about it then from there I would then stop asking. At that point you would have done all that you could do.

I wish you the best and please let me know if I can help further!
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.

I see you were not happy with my answer. I am sorry about that, but I would love for you to be a happy client. Your satisfaction is important to me. Please let me know how I can help further. I apologize if there was anything I misunderstood. I hope you can give me another opportunity to help.