thanks for your post. You always make good sense :)
I'm under the weather with Poppy's lurgy, I hate sore throats, but I have kept dosed up, too much to do.
I am in a 2 & 8 (that's 'state' in cockney rhyming slang in case you weren't sure!). Still don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow night and for the week. Everyone, and now Ziggy and Emma, say don't go back home, but the kids will be there. I have to get the cottage packed up and sorted, I wish.....
I met with Z and Emma this pm, I fared a little better than last week, was able to speak some. I am scared about the next stage, I am feeling all alone with this but I know I'm not. It's just I have to make decisions, on behalf of the kids and me, and whatever i decide D will be angry, and my parents may not like it.
Emma was lovely. She wasn't too sure about me living so close to D, especially when the DN gets sent out to D. She has given me a personal attack alarm but said they couldn't put anything within our own property bc he may damage it! (expensive)
Ziggy went out with her at the end, I laid down in a heap and cried, scared, overdone, don't want to try any more. Ziggy came back in and was my mum for a while, then she showed me a wedding photo which was beautiful. I left her office feeling very alone with the weekend ahead, and lots of decisions to make.
I went to the barn when I got home. Lola wanted to play, it was raining, but I played. I went in and D was there. I wanted to just go, but he wanted to show me something he had read in a newspaper magazine, opened it on the page, put it in front of me, said that is what he has had in his head for many years, something about flooding... meaning the future of the barn I'm sure. I declined to read it, just left, came to the cottage and cooked, then began sorting for tomorrow.
I asked Sam what D had for supper- a tin of soup for the 3rd day this week (the other was baked beans) He asked me (through Sam) to get some more dog food. I didn't.
I have to sleep now. I haven't done very well telling you about my meeting with Emma. I am rather muddled myself.
Goodnight dear Kate, it's good to talk