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Ask SLREED Your Own Question
SLREED, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 220
Experience:  MS Marriage/Family therapy. Four years as a counselor.
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I dated my for about 7 months I knew she was the one and I

Customer Question

I dated my for about 7 months I knew she was the one and I got scared,nervous and called it off.we have been broken up for about 7 months. One of the reasons why we broke up was I didn't think I should meet her kids until we dated a year. Her children at the time were 16 and 21. She was separated going thru the divorce and I was with her all of the way. We only got into one argument but it was stupid.Ever time I went on a detail for work I would bring her and her daughter something back.I never got along with her best friend because she was a drunk among other things. I know I told her i didn't like her best friend because her friend would drink too much among other things and she called that possessive. I tried to talk to her here and there and not push it to hard. She invited me out for dinner with her friend one night and it went great but I could feel her friend killing me with her eyes. When I saw her in the bar that night for dinner she was looking at me like a kid in love. Her friend didn't like me one bit. We talked a few more times. Do you think its her feelings getting to her or her friend talking to her. I met her online and after I met her I took myself off. No one knew she was online except her friend and then my ex would find stuff in her mailbox that i was online. I sent her and her daughter some stuff from the 2012 Olympics. She texted me and told me it was a beautiful gesture but unnecessary and that we will never have any kind of relationship. We texted a few times after. I recently sent her flowers a few time. I used to do that when we were together. I texted her one time to tell her I was thinking of her and she responded by telling me. AWWE why do you do that. The out of nowhere I texted her and she had blocked my number. I never blew up her phone at all. I sent her a small gift and a letter stating that I would like to meet for coffee and just talk on sat. A lady friend of mine took her number out of my phone without me knowing after the fact and called her the other day. My friend told me she said that I was kind caring and generous But I was also manipulative I dont know where that came from. She also said that I sent a mean text about her friend which I did. They talked for about 10 minutes and my friend asked if she was going to meet me and she said no. But she would think about talking to me. She never said she was with anyone or a relationship. My ex still wanted to talk but my friend had to go. Why would she tell a my friend of all those good things and not even tell her to tell me to stop trying or she was in a relationship. I sent her flower today and she declined them. Then today I texed her on the address of the starbucks to meet at and she responded with a nasty text that I was harassing her and to stop. That she was happy and in a serious relationship. and that I was scaring her. I never threatened her and she had a conversation with my lady friend about me and said all good things. I was always nice and polite with her.
Why would she be so mean and say she would call the police for harassing when I wasn’t?
Do you think she is in a serious relationship?
Because if I was in a relationship and her ex was calling I would call him up and talk to him.
Why didn’t she tell my friend?
Why wouldn’t she ever talk or want to see me?
We are adults here not in high school.
Is this No Contact thing a game or she just wants me out of her life because I know If I see her her feelings will come back just like they did in june when she kissed me.
Do you think she is in a relationship? I think its her best friend with a lot input on this. I did help her thru the whole entire ugly divorce
What are your thoughts?
I guess I will never get her back. What do you think
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  SLREED replied 4 years ago.
Okay, where to start. Well the reason why she may have said good things about you, is probably because this is how she views you. Just because she thinks these nice things about you, does not mean she wants you back.

Lets try to look at it from her perspective. You broke up with her and broke her heart. During the break up she had to get over you. With that being said, she may feel that if she gets back with you, then you may break her heart again. She may feel that if you did it once for no reason, then you may continue to do it again and again if given the chance. So she may feel like why give you the chance.

She may feel like she does not want to go down that road with you, once she has gotten over you. Here heart was probably broken and it may have taken a lot to get over that. And now that she is, she does not want to revisit the relationship again, because doing so may cause pain for her in the end. She is just ready to move on.

Now whether she is in a relationship or not, I do not know. I do not think it matters. I am sorry to say, but she has made it clear that she does not want to continue the relationship with you, despite your best efforts. And you did put forth good efforts.

If anything, give it time. Maybe she may want to talk to you after a while, but I would back off for now. She has made it clear that you are harassing her, and continuing to contact her may make her want nothing to do with you, even as friends.

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