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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I have been divorced/seperated for almost 5 years and have

Customer Question

I have been divorced/seperated for almost 5 years and have not been able to get a relationship. Usually not more then a couple of dates. I did meet someone recently who did say I was too old for her but we ended up spending a lot of time together and was intimate the first 10 weeks. During this time she actually took over my closet as she was with me pretty much 24/7 except a few times she stayed with friends as the drive home (60 miles) at night was not happening. Now this past 6 weeks she has getting colder to me by the day and we have not been intimate. She claims she is not, but just this past week she has been here for about 8 hours. Clothes and dog are still here. Last night, I went to an event and she was there but barely spent 2 min with me over 3 hours, granted she is a very outgoing person but 2 minutes! I did text her after I came back home and said that I feel you have downgraded me to an acquaintance lately. She came back and said basically nothing has changed, just need to spend more time with other friends as they commented thought we had gotten married. Well, I feel now I’m being used; my small apartment is cluttered with her personal items and her car broke a month ago and she has been using my 2nd car and taking car of her dog. What should I do with her whom I have fallen in love with?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.

KansasTherapist :


KansasTherapist :

I agree, she's using you.

KansasTherapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

How should I approach it?

Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
Be calm but firm. Tell her what you expect her to do as in return your car within 72 hours and pick up her dog and clothes within 24 hours.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Just hard to do it.....5 years without a relationship makes you think to much especially after our first 10 weeks together. I do love this girl.
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
I can understand you not wanting to break things off if there's a chance it could work out. The problem is, she seems to see you as someone who will do whatever she needs, because you care more than she does.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Makes sense but for me not an easy thing to do especially when this was my 1st real relationship in 5 years!

Thank you

Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
You're very welcome.