You have been helpful and I will report as such. I'd like one more exchange if that is ok.
My wife feels that my daughter and I are not considering how this will affect the kids. She feels we are being "selfish".
You are right that I will have to make a decision. From what I have shared, do you think that I and my daughter are being selfish?
See my wires Susans note to my daughter Loryn below:
And a few days after sending this, I pulled from your dad
1) that he knew all year that you had already decided you didnt want me at your wedding.
2) that you knew he was not going to tell me.
3) all year you have both been sharing that secret while exploiting my love and good will toward you, our family and your relationship with the kids.
4) knowing that you intended to win them to join you in your very public punishing, disrespectful exclusion of their mother.... an act that would ultimately plant a seed of self-loathing and possibly corrupt their relationship with me.
Have you talked with your therapist about what this might feel like for the kids? Clue (imagine that when Sofia and Roman grow up...they tell you that no one in their family likes you so because of all the ways you hurt them and their mother, so they dont want you at their wedding, but they do want your kids.)