The dinner went as planned. It was a lovely evening in a high class restaurant. By the end of the evening, she did not mention anything. I closed by telling her it was time for us to leave.
When we walked outside the restaurant, I noticed she had the ring box in her hand. We got into the car and she had a huge smile on her face. She moved close and asked me to take us to a nearby location. It was where we had a deep conversation after our first date, about 12 years prior.
She went on to tell me how far we had come as a couple. It appeared she was going to accept. When driving there, I said, "This makes me a bit nervous", She said, "I can't always be predictable". However, she ended by saying she is not ready for commitment, that she loved me, but was not in love with me. I accepted her decision and we had a productive positive talk for about 2-3hours, before I drover her home. She handed me back the ring.
I asked to use her bathroom, prior to leaving her home, after dropping her off. Without going into to much detail, I left her house about 3-4 hours later. (sex) When I left she said, "See you later". I said, "OK", she said, how about Monday.
I called her the next day, stating that we still needed to discuss some things. She agreed. The next day, Sunday, she texted asking me to meet her at her house. When I arrived she was all over me. She said she had not "Come down from Friday night". She further said, she had changed her mind and now accepted my proposal. I asked a number of times and she stated she was sure.
However, she said she needed time, between a month or two. I agreed. We had a further discussion about the other involved party, the male she dated. I had to force the issue, however she admitted to having sex with him about a month prior. I think this was the 2 week period that she told me she needed a break from him and me. I did not react to this news, but it cut to the bone. Remember this was the same person I caught with his arm around her in the street about the same time. However, she said it was not good, and it was only once. She asked me not to tell anybody about her accepting, which I told her was not fair.
The next day, Monday, I spoke with her. I told her I could not give her time, I told her a week was my maximum. I also asked her about our status, are we engaged? She said, "I don't know what our status is. But we agreed that a week was a good compromise. I also said, "What do I do with the ring". She said, "Hold onto it".
Today I called her. The call was good, but I pushed the issue, asking could I expect next Saturday to be positive. Because I had told her that I was going to recreate the original proposal, seeing as she had accepted. She shocked me by saying, don't pressure me, I wont' be forced to do something I don't want to do. She further said, "You might not get the answer that you want Saturday". I said, but you have said yes, I am just recreating the moment. She mentioned she is very busy this week and then abruptly ended the call.
I was shattered again. I was at work and the rest of the day was terrible.
After thoughts of ending everything, I called her. I told her my love for her was that great, that if she wanted more time, I will give her whatever time she wants. She said, "That means a lot to me, I can't ask for any more than that". I ended by saying, "I love you". She was at her parents, but she also sad, "I love you".
Have I done the right thing and have I given her more time to spend more time with the other person, giving him a free shot at her, with me out the picture? I told her that when she knows for certain, I want to be told immediately. Elliot, I know it may be soft of me, but if I forced the issued in a week, I would always have wondered what if? At least she can't say I forced her or pressured her. What do you think?
This is so confusing and frustrating. I know she has another involved party, but the mixed signals and changing her mind from day to day is a concern. A mate suggested menapause. I can't work her out?