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the circumstances were we were fighting all the time, and I was being verbally abused being called whore, and anything else he could think of he was watching porn and then would use me to get off like i was a object he owned. and it got out of control one night porn was on tv he denied it was him said it didnt matter and you dont matter you crazy whore, so I took a family picture and cut him out of it and said then this doenst matter he strangled me and said im going to kill you you f**king whore 10 times then trhough me backwards after sometime into the laundry room. my 4 yr old heard it and I said we have to do something thats unacceptable so we went 7 months ago and when it was over he said it was lee bashing and we never went back. the pastor was recently cause I filed for divorce after the second time of physical abuse happend. and that went okay but he still tried to say well she did stuff and now she's denying it and the pastor told him she's denied nothing. and he wouldnt answer any question straight forward. left us to this point where its put on continuance for one last shot of therapy. which i feel is his way of trying to change me to what he wants. and have his control
i really dont know, i'd like to believe that he's sincere and wants to change. and I know I want to stop lying i used it as a defense mechanism to hide and try to avoid fights. I did right in the beginning of our marriage i told him everything the truth about my days who i talked to and all that. and he says ive always been this way made mistakes lied, i siad we all make mistakes but i used to tell you the truth about it all and got yelled at, called names like your stupid. the last straw for me that really sent me into the depths was him saying why dont you go get raped again by black guys, in front of my kids. and this is somehting I trusted with him. and i know I made mistakes and lying isnt good but 8 to 9 years of verbal abuse, being expected to be a 1950s housewife and do all that he wanted me to do, i never knew i was being abused until a new neighbor asked me if i was. so i like to think this is from his heart but to me i think its just another game.
my family lives out of state, I have the option to call my lawyer and tell him to refile and get another court date to fight to get him out of the house. and my thinking was the same on what his motives are about therapy. should I going into therapy find a way of getting paperwork about what really goes on here so that way when he manipulates things to look like he's the victim in all this they have some history of whats going on
okay i have to go to bed its late and kids get up in 3 hrs just answer back when you can thanks so very much for your help its made me feel better about therapy and what i think its about good to know i am not the only one thinking that way. helps i was starting to think i could just be crazy. thank you