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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have had feelings for my attorney for years, but kept them

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I have had feelings for my attorney for years, but kept them to myself. We have always had mutual respect and friendship. Finally., he made a move and held me in a way that was more than his usual goodbye hug. I was so surprised I went into my professional mode and said "we can't. I care about you so much as my closest friend but we can't." he said "...because of boundaries". And I said yes. So we parted with our usual friendly hug. Immediately, I couldn't believe I was so stupid. I have wanted him for years and now he says my initial reaction was the correct one and that we can't. I am not 100% sure but am reasonably sure he is divorced or at least separated. What I do know for sure is that I love and want him and have for 25 years. We are both63, I am divorced. Please tell me how to get back the moment he held me, and do it over. Thank you so much.

It is unfortunate but sometimes relationships do not begin due to timing. Many people have these strong feelings but timing prevents a relationship from happening. Try to not focus on that brief moment but instead on what happens now. You have tried to encourage his advances and waited - that is not helping. Instead lay the groundwork for a relationship through your behavior. Create an atmosphere that shows him you are interested only in romance. Sometimes it takes something really brave to push the envelope. At the very least he knows you are certain of your emotions and want only a romantic relationship. Set a romantic atmosphere that really sends a bold message.

You can't force what he doesn't want but if you are creative it says that you are not interested in friendship. At some point you have to accept what he wants but I would be very creative first. Then you know he is not willing to change his mind.

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