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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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my boyfriend loves me; i can feel it; he always take care with

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my boyfriend loves me; i can feel it; he always take care with me. However, we are both depressed in this relationship. I admit that I have short temper and is very demanding.
6 months ago, i caught him emailing another woman expressing that he misses and admires her. Then he asked me if he can have an additional girlfriend; she is very nice and will not interfere with me. I was shocked because I can't image he had the gut to ask for something like that. I was so hurtful and he saw that. He promised not to talk to her.
Then lately I found out that they have been talking. I knew that he had not intimated with her but has tried to make out with her. Today, he asked me again if I can be friend with her and accept him into our relationship

Wow, I can't help a digusting feeling toward him. I told him that if I approve of her , then in return, he must approve of me having another man. He did not agree and looked shocked.

For a moment, I do want to be with another guy friend; as though I have frequent attraction with the opposite, I have never cheated. However , I feel like my bf doesn't deserve my loyalty

I want to know if my bf really loves me?
why did he ask such question?
what should I do?
If he truly loved you then he would respect you. That doesn't mean including another women into your relationship. A person who loves you doesn't hurt you intentionally so that he has this additional sexual relationship. It seems guys ask this question because they are more focused on their sexual satisfaction than their mates. This seems very selfish. Unless you are both into this type of relationship you should do what makes you happy -not what makes him happy alone. You have to decide what will make you truly happy. If these means four people then so be it but you have to be honest with yourself. Don't do anything just to please someone else. When you decide what you want then pursue that. If this relationship has to include 3 people and that is just about him then it may be time to consider how healthy this relationship is. Decide what you want and make that happen.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I understand what you're trying to say; However, deep down, I know he does not intentionally hurt me; he is in great despair when I'm sad; However, he cannot seem to control himself when it come to woman;


No I do not like this kind of lifestyle. It makes me feel low & sad. What I want is a relationship based on love; I can never do what he has been doing


I just do not know if he does not love me or he loves but he is selfish or he loves the other woman

If he cant' control himself he is hurting you. If your lifestyles are so drastically different then maybe that is something to consider. It is hard to say who he loves but consider his actions and his words because you have to do what is appropriate for you
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