How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask KansasTherapist Your Own Question
KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KansasTherapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am attracted to this guy who has recently come out of horrible

This answer was rated:

I am attracted to this guy who has recently come out of horrible relationship. he seems to give me mix signs. He has stated he just wants to be friends however, it seems as we are growing closer. I do know though he still talks to his exboyfriend. What does one do. Do I stop hanging out with him? I havent been this attracted to someone in quite sometime. I dont know if I could handle just being his friend.

KansasTherapist : Hello
KansasTherapist : I think you run the risk of being really hurt in this relationship.
KansasTherapist : Many times when someone is getting out of a bad relationship they get involved with someone else too soon.
KansasTherapist : Though your friend says he isn't ready, that may not stop things from becoming intense and then quickly cooling off.


My friends tell me to take it as it comes. I date often... its so hard for me to find someone that I feel something for. I have no clue what has come over me with him. Its not like me.

KansasTherapist : If you're willing to take that risk, you could move ahead.

The first time I saw him something clicked in me. I mean it wasnt physical thing


How do I stop these feelings?

KansasTherapist : It's good you've met someone who fits with you, just be careful with your heart.
KansasTherapist : If you want to stop the feelings I think you would need to avoid being around him.

I don't want to get hurt. I was hurt last time i was in relationship....its been almost 2 years now.

KansasTherapist : I can understand why you'd feel that way.
KansasTherapist : What do you want to do, take the risk or stop things now?

I fear that I may be running from trying to get hurt all the time... but everyone keeps saying listen to my gut. Its just so cloudy.



I guess thats my cross roads



Id love to be his friend if I knew how to control my feelings or not come across needy or interested.

KansasTherapist : There is some risk in every relationship, but some are more likely to turn bad than others. This is a high risk situation. You have to really believe it's worth a try to wait and see what happens.

What does one do?

KansasTherapist : Because he seems like someone really special to you, it may be worth it to be his friend and hope fore the best.

Yah. I guess that would be the best result.


Thank you.

KansasTherapist : You're very welcome.
KansasTherapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions