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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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Ok I like this girl. I have been to an all day event with her

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Ok I like this girl. I have been to an all day event with her two sisters and out with her family all day and she invited me to lunch with her sisters. We shared this eyes gaze or trance a while ago and since then I've really liked her. At the concert event she was playful with me boobing my head to the rock music, dumping water on me and when she went to the bathroom she'd poke my arm or touch my shoulder to leave or get back in. Most of the time there we hung out and the two sisters went on the rides. Last week her sister invited me to their family pinic at a park, so I went. I'm not sure if she was comfortable with me there or not. She seemed more standoffish, she still talked to me and smiled some, just not as usual. She didn't seem to want me in a boat with her and her little brother cause her two sisters tried getting me in the boat with her. I didn't go, I went in the boat with her older brother. I can understand if it was weird for her, she wasn't at the church when her sister invited me to go with them. I just hope she isn't over me yet or uninterested now. When we got back the mom invited me to the pool and then inside for dinner. When I was changed and sat down, Natalie seemed to look at me with interest again...a glance or two with a smile while talking to someone else. I didn't talk much to her she cooked dinner, but played alot with her little brothers they seemed to like me. At dinner she sat by me and would ask me a few questions look me in the eyes and glance at my hair. When I was leaving she said Im sure we'll see you again sometime in regards XXXXX XXXXX a new church together or not, and then she said until next time. So I was really mad and sad for a couple days. Did I do something wrong?? I still don't have her number yet and now I'm frustrated cause I want to ask her to dinner. I do have her facebook and I message her sometimes. I few days ago I sent a private message saying I was wanting to talk with her about something but face to face. Then I said I'd be at a swing dance event on this day and hoped to see her there...that's not a date right??. Now she just moved out of her place so I'm thinking of sending another saying I won't be there cause my job is now wanting me to work on that day. So I might have to work so I'll send that and also just say that now that the summer is over for me I have more time to catch up on things one of them being that I still wanna have dinner with you, but I'll ask you in person...just wanted you to know" Is that ok to send?? I'm not really asking her. I talk with her sister a few times a week on her phone. What suggestions you have.? Thanks

KansasTherapist : Hello
I can imagine it is very difficult, as a guy, to figure out if a girl is going to say yes to a date or not. No one wants to be embarrassed by being turned down. The problem is you're trying to find meaning in the slightest word or glance to figure out what she's thinking. I think your idea of sending her a text telling you want to ask her out, but want to do it face to face is a good one. That way she can give you a clearer signal of what she wants before the two of you get into an uncomfortable situation. My best guess is that she is interested in you or her mother and sisters wouldn't be always inviting you to family events.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thanks! Well I feel dumb for inviting her to the swing dance thing cause when I got there everyone was @least 70yrs. so I didn't stay long. She moved and can't drive her car yet so I didn't expect her there. I hope they don't back out of church this week and I get to see her. The past few weeks I've been wanting to ask her, but she hasn't been at church and didn't feel comfortable asking around her family 2 sundays ago. I just realized the other day with all her flirtations and showing interest, I don't think I've shown any back! So now I'm worried about that and feel really bad cause I'm totally interested! I think I was so busy this summer and now I'm not so I'm able to think more in depth about this. So should I wait and hope Sunday they are gonna go last Sunday they were tired from all the moving and her sister texted me saying they'll go with me next Sunday instead. I'm ready to ask her! Should I send her a private message on Facebook saying :"hey I've been so busy this summer, but I just want you to know that I'm definetly still wanting to have dinner with you, but I'll ask you in person" That's it . So would a girl who was interested in a guy and considering the circumstances look @ a guy doing that in a positive or negative way? I can do it now or wait until Sunday if she's not there. I feel bad I haven't really shown much like she has. What's your advice? Thanks

I think your doing fine. When a girl is interested in a guy, she is usually willing to wait. She must have some idea you're interested in her, so I think you've been showing more signs than you realize. It sounds like a good idea to text her as you suggested, but if by some chance they aren't able to come to church this Sunday, you might want to call her and ask her out over the phone. Or you could ask her out for a coke or something and then ask her in person.

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