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DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  20+ years of counseling experience, Wife & Mother
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how does someone deal with death. I just lost my mom. She was

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how does someone deal with death. I just lost my mom. She was 82. it is hard to do anything it seems like such a chore. She died July 26
Hello --I see I answered another question for you earlier --I'm sorry to hear that you are also grieving the loss of your mother!

Her death was extremely recent --your reaction of it being hard to do anything is completely normal right now!!! The initial reaction to death is generally severe, and this is to be expected

There are five stages to grieving:

1. Denial (disbelief that the loss occurred)
2. Anger: (Can be at God, yourself, your Mom, someone else, etc)
3. Bargaining (If only I had _________ (fill in the blank), then her death wouldn't have occurred)
4. Depression: Sadness over the loss
5. Acceptance: You never forget, but acceptance involves getting to a place where you can live your life again and are not so heavily weighed down by the loss.

These stages do not necessarily occur in order, and you can go back and forth between them before the grieving is over. Some people stay in one stage longer than others, others move about rapidly.

The best thing you can do right now is be kind and gracious to yourself, don't try to feel or not feel any particular thing and allow yourself to have whatever feelings come up.

Use any support that you have --friends, therapist, here, etc....and above all, be patient. Loss hurts so badly, there's no quick way to deal with it.

Again, I am so sorry. It's so hard to lose someone we love --no matter what age they are!!


Dr. Fee
DrFee and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Dear Jill,

I'm just writing to thank you again for your "excellent" rating.

I also want to remind you to be patient and kind with yourself. Remember, grieving takes a long long time.

Dr. Fee