Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

I had been dating a girl for just about three years. We were

totally opposites. In highschool i...
I had been dating a girl for just about three years. We were totally opposites. In highschool i was a football player, and she was a smart student but not to many friends. She disliked that i went out to parties, and in the end i realized that was not who i was. When college came she went away to school only an hour away it wasnt to bad, but it hurt not seeing her everyday but i never let it affect us or let her see i was hurt. She left after one semester because being home sick. Now she was home everyday and commuting to school. We were each others best friends. I was working on my career as a firefighter, and she was working on hers as a special ed teacher. To be a firefighter i had to live in the city of the town i was applying to so i had to pick up a heavy work load between classes and work. I work average 75 hours a week. This took a toll on her because like i said she didnt have that many friends. She has endodemtrosis and the pain is unbareable for her so she went to another specialist who recommended a surgery witch insurance wouldnt cover. So she went for plan b witch was a injection shot that put her into menapause at age 20 for a few months. Right away i saw a change. 2 months went by and she started hangingout with new people and making new friends. I thought this was great she is making new friends. Well plan back fired. She started partying , and lieing to me. I never once confronted her she came to me and said i went to a party. I asked if anything happened she told me no. All was fine. The next week we went on a nice day trip to the state aquarium. The next day she was going to her cousins wedding. That next day before she went to the air port i asked her if i could come see her, or she could stop by work to say good bye because i will miss her. She right away said she was to busy. That next three days we barely talked. She claimed she was busy and what not. When she came home on the sunday we were supposed to hangout. She ditched me to talk to her friend. My car broke down i called her for a ride she made me walk for 4 hours before she came and got me. Then she dropped me off at home and i asked her to text me when she got home to tell me she was ok. She texted me "i got home safely" i replied "alright i love you babe goodnight" she then texted back we need a break. Of course three years of dating nad to give me that respect a text not a call a talk or anything no reasons. So a day went on she was spending more time with these kids and me being an idiot just wanted to talk work things out. Not knowing she had already made up her mind. A week goes by of no talking i come to find she is seeing another guy a week after we broke up. I got off work late about 9 days after and got a phone call from her os i answered it was a guy telling me he was going to kick my A** meet me here. Me being stupid went 8 kids were there, but no fight occured as i left i got a picture sent to my phone from a random number of her and a kid hooking up. Now its about 2 months after i have been so hurt i still love her and would do anything for her i just dont understand. How one who loves you one day so much and the next just dumps you to a curb no ryhme or reason. Her biggest thing is alwayt being together and at times being a fireman/student i had little of. I regret not spending all my time with her, but she left me for a kid who is going to bootcamp in a few weeks. I just dont understand this whole thing. How now all she is doing is partying and trying to be someone she is not. Or how she hasnt contacted me since the break up to even see how i was doing
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 16 minutes by:
8/3/2012
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Verified
She sounds like she went through a lot with the condition she had and some times when you become sick or have any health problems it changes you. She now is better and as a person she has now changed. You mention before she did not have many friends well now she has many friends. This is a new experience for her, it is like her life just started. Often times people who had a certain life and get a taste of a new life they change. People grow not everyone stays the same. Often times events change people. Where she had health problems she was not able to experience life without being in pain. Once all those problems went away she felt free to live her life. She knew how much she suffered and she now knows she needs to live life to the fullest. But what I see is someone that went through a lot, you both were together a very long time, you created a bond, some times people back away from the people they love the most because they do not want to get hurt, so they block out things acting like they do not care. Which is not true they care more than you know. She right now has an attitude like she is going to go on with her life without thinking about what she has gone through. Everything with you is memories of her old life she had, she just wanted to forget all her pain and move forward. I feel that deep down she does love you and you need to find that person again that loved you. I want you to contact her and ask her why things changed and that you will always love her. Explain that you are willing to work things out.
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Verified
Dear Debra and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
She is now dating the other guy. She will not respond from what she said hen it went down she wanted to be single, her feelings changed for me to this guy, and she needed time an space to think. She said it would take time for her to be friends again
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
I am going to write a letter. After we broke up I wrote her a letter for four days and sent flowers. The reason she won't talk to me i feel is because she jumped into a relationship with this kid. I guess time will heal all wounds and when she is ready she will respond. It's just she's all I think about and in my Line of work I see a lot of things and need to have a clear head. It really helped talking to you. I just don't get how so fast she could be in a relationship and erase everything we had in a matter of a week.
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
I wrote my letter going to mail it today. Saw her brother last night he was informing me how her parents aren't happy with this new kid and his sister has said she plans to reevaluate things sOon. I saw her once last week but she pretended not to even know me. I saw her also about an hour ago while I was having lunch with friends. Her little sister pointed me out and I could discretely see her looking at me but never said hi or anything I figured if I said hi it may have made her feel awkward or cause a problem with the new bf IF he found out
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
So this weekend I went to a concert her brother called me they were at the same concert. I met up with then at the tail gate and we talked. I could tell she missed me. Her new boyfriend was texting her brother keep me away from her. Blah blah. We went into the concert and she texted me and asked if my friend and I would go sit with them. So we went And had a good time. The reason she said she can't answer me cuz this new kid gets very angry. She kept trying to talk about him in front of me. Then she would ask if I was angry. I'm giving it time and seeing how it goes. I ordered her birthday present before she broke up with me I got her a nice ring zac brown band tickets and her favorite movie the notebook. I have the. All put away but do I tell her I have those tickets.
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
So my ex and me have started to talk again. She tells me how in love she is with her new bf. one word replies and won't talk to me when out with her new friends. The other morning she texted me asking for a ride she was stranded at one of his friends house. Not so good neighborhood. Of course I picked her up had a friendly conversation on way home. Next day she went out her phone got stollen same area. Her parents started texting me asking who these people are etc. her mom thanked me for watching out for her and careing for her. She lied to then where she was at. I just don know why to do if I should just move on and still care for her. Her new bf left for basic training.
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
What should I do or say. I try not to bring up us if we hang out , she just says people change and feelings change.
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
1,852 Satisfied Customers
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.

Dear Debra is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting with another guy while I was talking to my current boyfriend. I never told him and tried to hide it. Now he knows and is questioning my trust… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little of each? Im an insecure anxious attachment type for sure.... i always need reassurance and stuff from my gf... my gf in the beginning was alr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at work I thought he was good looking we hit it off as friends. He had me staying over his place a lot, then I found out he was gay/bi I start… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My question is about a possible beginning to a relationship.
Hello this is Brian, my question is about a possible beginning to a relationship … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex girlfriend come over to visit even though you tell him to it really bothers you… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. So I was a bit s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a Sunday for brunch, She start 3 hours and gets rather trashed with her alcoholic Mother of which we do not like each other. Keep in mind that… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok,
not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok, My boyfriend and I and my two teenage daughters live together. I gave him the consent to record my daughter because we were trying to catch h… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems like I can't get any woman to like me or want to date me. I want to know how I can approach women and get dates? I'm really all about chivalry … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really
Hello , i have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really hard time of separation with my husband . This man is separated too but he still in contact with his wife because of the kids ..any h… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I would like to know something. My wife of 35 yrs received a
my wife of 35 yrs received a very intimate necklace fro m anoth er women and she told her she was drawing inspiration from her just by wearing it what does that mean … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Mine is a pretty tricky but story. So I met this guy on
Hi Debra, Mine is a pretty tricky but long story. So I met this guy on Tinder, he was lovely. Our first date was amazing... we spoke for three weeks 24/7 before actually meeting up. There was an insta… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood swings. He is about to start a new job at a branch of Verizon (used to work at another branch) so we were talking in the car and he said he ha… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex,
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex, I kept texting him till he said leave me alone and then broke up with me.. can I get him back … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love him dearly, well on Tuesday something happened when I was texting one of my guy friends I didn't physically cheat on him, and there was no … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6
Jen, I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6 weeks. We see each other twice a week. He deeply cares for me and loves me. I also have love for him. I struggle with his immaturity. So… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he cares about me. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and cuddle clubs. Is this a bad idea to be touching someone who you don't know and have no specific reason to care about? My wife and I experience… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x