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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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choosing children over spouse?

Resolved Question:

had to re-edit. someone reported me for underpriced though i have a subscription i didnt chose the price and it doesnt mean i dont do bonuses especially an important isseu to me as this


my spouse is rebuilding a relationship with his children.


 he blamed me for alienation with them by upsetting his ex who alienated them.


 now he knows it wasnt me.


children hate me now because of their mom


so he spends time with them without me, they dont want me there


 my spouse and i used to agree all the time over children come second to the marriage unless it was abuse


he is my soul mate i thought we were the most importnt.


now i dont trust him he believed them over me now "when push comes to shove" i know he will chose them first even if it destroys us.




i knnow he is building a bond with them but i feel uncontrolable resentment towards them


why does this hurt me so much?

Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 5 years ago.
This is causing a division between you and your soulmate. You one made decisions about the children and now all of a sudden things have changed. It is very hard for you to be excluded. Because the children and do not want to be around you. I do not agree with this decision because the children need to also think of the parent and who they love. You are part of his life so they need to share in his and your life. You should not have yo be put aside or be inbtween. He should clearly. Tell the children need that he loves you very much and that they need to accept this is who is in his life. No one should be blaming anyone for you alienating anyone. He should have seen his children his ex was someone that thought there were problems with the relationship already with his children. This all needs to be talked out. Tell him how you feel.
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