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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My wife wants to separate after 6 months of marriage. about

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My wife wants to separate after 6 months of marriage. about 3 years ago i had a one time online affair. i don't know why i did it but i have regretted it ever since. My wife learned about it the same night. i begged and pleaded for forgiveness from her but she said she wasn't sure if she could. a week later we learned she was pregnant. After about 8 months into the pregnancy i asked her to marry me and she said yes. we have talked a little about the affair but we never really had a serious conversation. i had thought after she said i do that she was finally over it. A couple months ago she says she is not sure how she feels about me anymore and needs some space. i hear her having an affair over the phone late at night. she has been staying at her friends house for the past few weeks. She hardly comes home anymore. She says she has tried to talk to me many times but it didn't help. she doesn't want to try anymore and just wants to end it all. I am still madly in love with her and i want her to keep trying. i suggested a counselor or sitting down and finally having a serious talk about everything, but she won't budge. how can i get her to try just a little longer?

You offered the right suggestions. Nothing can be overcome without a serious conversation and an intervention. Counseling can be very helpful in overcoming a previous mistake. You may want to approach her about a short term commitment to marital therapy so that it isn't so overwhelming for her . You can then begin to address this with a professional. Another intervention could be done by someone you trust such as your pastor. If you want the easiest solution to commit to marital therapy can be conducted online so that she only needs to commit by accessing this through your computer. She may change her mind if she feels the intervention is something she can handle. You may also consider leaving her a letter about why it happened and what you hope to commit too in an effort to save the marriage. Ask her to read this on her own and then make any further decisions. Letters can be very informative and don't lead to an argument as each person tries to say their piece. If in the end she is willing to do nothing then this relationship could be in trouble. It requires both people to resolve conflict and then you may consider counseling for yourself.

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