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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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A guy I sort of work with (not in the same office) anyway he

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A guy I sort of work with (not in the same office) anyway he is 50 and I am 49. He treats me so bad the way he talks to me and is constantly mean to me.Why would this be? We started texting as friends last October. He made it clear he did not want to date me so we never did. He stares at me all the time and sends sexual texts too. I started to really like him but was looking for more then sex. We continued to be friends but then his text would be mean at times and he talks to me so not nice. I don't understand if he isnt interested why does he stare and care when I ignored him for a month he didnt like but he doesnt want to be with me. He sends me pics of other women and says its his girlfriend. Why is he doing this? Is he just an asshole? Im very attractive and a nice women I dont deserve to be treated this way.


You should never let anyone treat you that way. If he doesn't want to date then you should let him know that his actions are inappropriate. It is hard to say what his motive is and why he treats you badly but in the end it doesn't matter because he has the responsibility to treat you with respect. If he can't then you have the ability to take this to the higher ups You certainly don't have to entertain his behavior. He may be a jerk or maybe he is just clueless. If he continues to stare and send texts it may be his way of showing interest but it isn't the appropriate way to show interest. I would steer clear of anyone sending sexual texts. This may be fun to him and you don't want to feed into it. If he is doing this he definitely is not the kind of person you want as a friend. Don't try to make him a friend if he is doing this. Maybe you are too nice. I would discontinue all conversations with him and ignore his texts. He will then give up. If you let him play these games he will be open to advances so just let him be.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have stopped speaking to him and texting already. Unfortunately I do have to see him thru work occaisionally. I guess I was wondering why any grown man that age would be mean to a nice woman. He had previously showed interest in me last year. I dont know if he is angry with me about something? I know it doesnt matter the reason of course. But if he supposedly has a girlfriend why would he care anything about me. He should be happy with his life and not worry about some woman he works with that he is not interested in. If Im not good enough to date why do you want to text me and other stuff, doesnt make sense. The sad thing I actually liked him until he started this crap. But even if your not interested in someone which Ive been there before I wouldnt be mean to that person. Just dont understand his meaness for someone I was never involved with. What is it about me that he feels he can talk to me that way? Im not that nice! About a month ago I ignored him for several weeks and he hated it. He kept trying to talk to me and include me in conversations and stand real close to me? Again what does he care if I dont talk to him. Neither of us need to speak to each other to do our jobs.


Who knows why. He may just be that kind of person. He may think his feelings are more important than yours. Or maybe he has no reason at all. I think by your description he just likes to play games. For some people that is fun. Some people are mean by nature and you wouldn't understand that as someone who is nice. I would be cautious that this may all be a game to him.
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