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Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Professional therapist
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I broke up with my ex of 2.5 years over a year and a half ago.

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I broke up with my ex of 2.5 years over a year and a half ago. It was a rough relationship with lots of fighting and lots of verbal abuse endured on my part. I stayed in it for too long but learned my lessons. I finally broke it off in what I thought was as "nice" a way as possible. And I started seeing someone soon after the break up. She found out, flipped out and somehow found this person's number, called and left a crazy message. That rebound stint ended and I still had some civil contact with my ex but kept it light and as infrequent as possible. A few months after the break up, my ex realized it was for good and that I was serious about it. She freaked out on me, threatened me and my family in a rage. I had started seeing my current girlfriend around that time. And the contacting became more frequent from my ex's part so I asked her to please stop the contact for both of our sanity. She has not stopped contacting me since. I've asked her to please stop all contact and even wrote her a letter telling her that I would not contact her back. She got a hold of the person I'm with's number and calls both of us from a blocked number a couple of times a month and hangs up. She left my current GF a message once in the middle of the night saying "you suck." I don't even know how she knows this is for sure the person that I am with. She emails, texts and calls. I had been ok with ignoring her but it's now been too long and I don't know if ignoring is doing the trick. And its causing me and my current GF a lot of anxiety. What do I do? Help!
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through with your ex. You have every right to move on with your life without being harassed. Typically ignoring someone will be enough for them to eventually get the message. However if you're continuously ignoring her and she refuses to back off, you may have to consider filing a "cease and desist" report with the police. This would be a formal request for her to stop contacting you, and a copy would also get sent to her. A cease and desist will not have any legal consequences for her, but if she still doesn't get the idea, you will be able to file a restraining order or a harassment charge if goes further.

It's unfortunate that it would have to come to this point, but contacting the authorities would be the next step in preventing this from continuing to happen. You've done the right thing up until this point, and this is not something that you should have to continue to put up with.

I definitely wish you the best in resolving all of this and hope that she gets the message. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

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