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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3530
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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for CoachJenK, Hello JenK! I hope everything is fine with

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for CoachJenK,
Hello JenK! I hope everything is fine with you. I am the one who lost (or never had) the "spark" with my girl. I am reading a book these days, "dancing in the dark". It makes me understand that we can hide many things in our relationships, and we can wear masks in order to not feel the negative feelings, especially anger. The bad thing is that when we do that, when we hide our negative thoughts and feelings, they accumulate and they ruin everything in the end - we no more use our energies creatively, we only use our energies to keep our masks on.
I talked to my girl about these things today. Up to now, she wouldn't share any negative feelings with me, but now she opened up because of that and she told me about some things that she didn't like with me. She also said that she feels sadness (sorrow) but she never felt anger about me (no way!!! It must be "masked"). She felt relaxed after that, and I felt relaxed too when I told her two or three things that I didnt like with her.
We were ok together after that, we had a very good evening.

On the other hand, today, long before I told her about those things, I suddenly felt very depressed, as if I didnt want her to be here (she is with me on holidays)! I felt as if my own self wanted to be alone, maybe not with her at least! It was really awful but I didn't make it, it happened by itself. It was so intense, but I really didn't want that to happen - it was automatic! I felt very bored.. Now though, I feel calm and as if things are a little bit better. And I want to remind you that my girl is very good, very ethical, we have good sexual intimacy, we talk about many things and we have good chemistry on the way we think and on our basic values in life.
I wanted to tell you about this new happening, I do not have a question at the moment, I would just like to ask you if you could tell me some things about these, helping me more with the choice that I must take. And now a new question poped up: What if I am looking for a Utopia? How can I make sure that I am not wrong-directed in my pursuit of happiness? And a second question came up: They say that when you are ready, the right person will knock your door. The question is: how do I become ready for that person? What must I do to make sure I will find her when the time is right?

Thank you for being here!

CoachJenK :


CoachJenK :

I think you have too much on your mind and too many questions swirling...I feel we need to quiet the mind a bit and just let things be...sometimes you can over-think things and end up more confused.

CoachJenK :

my prescription? turn off the mind and let yourself enjoy your life and this woman...something tells me the right one is right in front of you.


I will do that.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Excellent. Just be. Have fun, be open, love, be loved and quiet that very active and bright mind. :-)