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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5838
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Thanks Kate for the advice, its hard to read but it is what

Customer Question

Thanks Kate for the advice, its hard to read but it is what I have been feeling. How would you tell him this? Do I just say that this is not what I want from my relationship? I feel like I want to leave the door open but then again if I am not sincere in my discussion with him he will just dismiss my statements as he has for the last 2 years as empty threats aimed at getting him to act on something he just does not want to do . I hope I am wrong but I do tend to believe at this point that what he is doing is a cover up for some other reason. Its terrible to say but maybe he just is putting me off because he just wants to end this legal action he has with his business and if he gets what he wants out of it he will just pay me back and leave me or maybe he will not get what he wants and leave me anyway. I sometimes think that even though he may love me to the extend he is able I am an asset to him now because i hold his relationships together and give him some credibility of some class to his place. I also am different than many of the people there meaning I am a professional business lady with eithics ,this has been a problem with other relationships he had in the past, he does not have a great reputation with dealing with people as he is very tough, unyielding and not great at the business pr thing. He is very smart at the work part but not the business end. Maybe its just that he is stringing me along, this is make sense based on how he is acting with this issue. Its like he is dangling a carrot for some reason right?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for the request, however, you need to accept the last answer and close it out (it will close when you rate me three stars or higher) before we can continue.


Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am satisfied and very happy but you need to send me a link to reply and accept its not letting me do that now.
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Sorry about that. I have no control over the accepts/ratings or the screens you see. Only JA does, so I will send your question to the moderators. They can process the accept for you.

You just need to write that you are happy with the response and want to rate with three or more stars on the bottom of the previous question and I will send it for you.


Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am very happy and give you maximum stars for your answers and accept payment. I just cant seem to get it done on line something is not allowing me to
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 5 years ago.

This statement needs to be on your last question, not on this one. The moderators need to see you were happy with the last answer. Sorry about the confusion!


Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 5 years ago.
I think your feelings about him are accurate, as painful as that is. And I know it's not an easy thing to face. But his behavior has pointed to exactly what you have described. He is probably using you and your abilities to make him look better and hold things together. Otherwise, he would commit to your relationship.

You might want to take some time to think through what you want to say to him. Decide how you want to say it's over. List the reasons why and read them then re read them so you know what you want to say. The less emotion you use, the better. Stick to the facts and keep to the point. Something like, "I am not happy in the relationship and think it is time for me to move on". Then if he asks why, bring up the reasons you listed. After you have talked it out, leave. Don't contact him and don't speak with him. That way, you can have the chance to heal.