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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am so mixed up and miserable. Since separating from my husband

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I am so mixed up and miserable. Since separating from my husband of 20 years, I miss him terribly, despite me having a 2 year affair. I am still seeing my lover, which was difficult as per my question to you on 8.5.12. Things are better with him now and I see him once or twice a week. When I see my husband I just want him back, then I think how bad things were between us. At the weekend we had a kiss and cuddle and we both felt good. I cooled it off with my lover but missed him within two days too. Last night when my husband came to see me he was stand offish and said he didnt think he loved me. One of the reasons for our separation was that he has terrible moodswings and an inferiority complex. My lover is very good company and although 13 years older than me he is completely different, but there are other points I prefer about my husband, but he just made me stressed and couldnt cope with situations so I had to take over. I am terribly mixed up and feel so miserable.
I am Psychlady. Is that okay?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
yes that's fine thank you
Best wishes
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Where is my answer????????
I don't understand. I thought that by saying that fine thank you that you were satisfied with my answer
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

the only answer I have is "I am psychlady, is that ok".

Sorry but I am going mad here trying to find your answer, I have nothing showing. I am trying to log in, log out etc. I never had this problem before. Your answer is just not showing anywhere. I just have this box to reply in and that is all.

Sorry that is certainly not my answer. It is very common to find positive qualities in several people especially those of the opposite sex. You do need to make a decision to spare their feelings but you have to decide first what qualities are important or dearest for you. That will guide your decision. As long as you see both and are somewhat intimate your judgment could be cloudy because you are interacting in a way that tempts you to follow your heart instead of your mind. If you look hard enough you will find qualities that you don't find endearing and that will help guide your decision . There is a reason your marriage broke up. What in your mind was that reason and can it be resolved. Usually exe's are exe's for a reason. If you are interacting on the premise that this is just romantic you should think about the long term. Your decision should be based on the past and the future but old problems just don't go away

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