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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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Ive been in a 4 and a half year relationship with my ex partner

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I've been in a 4 and a half year relationship with my ex partner where we constantly argued and for me had a really bad relationship experience. Now I've met a man that I know I've settled with and we are very much on the same level with our feelings and I truly believe that I've met my soul mate as is his view.
I do however feel like even though I tried and gave chances to my ex partner that maybe I gave up too easily and sometimes feel bad. We have a young son together who lives with me and it makes things a lot harder.
Hi, I'm Alicia. Thanks for asking your question - I'm happy to help you today.

To be honest with you, I don't think it seems like you gave up too easily with your ex-partner, just based on what you've said here. If you were constantly arguing, then there was obviously something not right in the relationship, and if you both couldn't "fix" whatever that was after 4 /12 years, then I don't think it was a mistake to end the relationship. You may have cared very much for each other, but you simply weren't compatible on certain levels. Of course, having your son with him can make things more complicated. But you deserve another shot at happiness, and if you feel like this new man might be your soul mate, then I see no reason to give this new relationship a shot.
I wish you lots of luck, and please let me know if you have any more questions.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you so much for your answer and help with my question. I guess for me I never thought that I would be moving on from him. We were married for 4 and a half years but only found out last year that our marriage hadn't been registered! and I guess for me although we said our vows legally we were never married and that has been hard to live with also. He still doesn't know this and I guess for me I'm sort of caught in the middle of calling him my ex partner instead of ex husband.
You're welcome!

Just remember that moving on is a process, and it takes time. You were together for 4 1/2 years, after all - that's a significant period of time. Like any loss - even if it's a positive one, as it sounds like this was for you - you have to go through a period of "mourning" in order to let go completely (if you haven't already done this, that is.) But to me, it does sound like you're ready to move on to a new relationship - and I wish you lots of happiness and luck. Please let me know if you need any help in the future or if you'd like to talk more about this. Best wishes :)
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