I am sorry to hear about this.
First and foremost when other relationships are ongoing, it is not possible for either of you to establish a mutually satisfying relationship that will have any reward in the long term.
No on can maintain genuine, mutually satisfy relationships when there is a "Triangle" and other people are involved. This is something that occurs when someone has a significant conflict between what they THINK and what the FEEL.
In reality, a relationship requires 1:1 mutual commitment and when a third person is involved....."HE IS ENGAGED" and in this case if you are entertaining any idea that you can repair the relationship other than to realize that it may be best for you to move on will only be an exercise in disappointment.
Here are Traits of what makes a HEALTHLY RELATIONSHIP:
Healthy Relationships -- What Do They Look Like
- Partners can manage conflict and differences without despair or threats.
- Both partners protect and nourish the relationship and make it a priority (not addicted to work for example).
- Both partners know how to be responsible for own needs and also for the care of the relationship.
- Both partners feel "special" to the other. Arguments or fights do not lead to abuse or threatened break-ups.
- Both partners can communicate wants, needs,feelings, and emotional issues with little or no shame.
- There is unconditional love if not unconditional agreement.
- The relationship feels and is nuturing, comfortable, and fun.
- Both partners attend to the needs of each other willingly and lovingly.
- The sexual relationship works well and is mutually satisfying.
- Both partners can and do keep agreements (maturity).
- Both partners are honest.
- There is no abuse: physical, verbal, emotional (ignoring).
- Both partners have boundaries:
- Each person can say "no" to requests from partner when necessary without feeling guilty and tell their partner when something feel not right or hurts them.
- People pleasing is kept to a minimum and neither one feels they are making a "great sacrifice" to stay in the relationship. Each person is able to do their work, attend to their children, care for other aspects of their life without threatening the relationship.
- Partners can hear feedback from each other that they may be projecting old relationship fears or issues onto the current relationship.
- There is commitment: exits are blocked in the relationship.
This is a guide to help you see what is lacking in your relationship and what you should be looking for in a relationship in that is going to provide what you deserve.
If he is unresponsive and ignoring you, there is nothing you can do to change him.
This is an indication that he sees the relationship as OVER and I think you would be best served by respecting this and not trying to resurrect a relationship which is already filled with dysfunctional traits.
You deserve a relationship without all of this drama. Saying Goodbye is a difficult process, however based on what you have written and relying on 35 years of working with couples I think this would be best for you.
The following link explains the process of ending a relationship (in a healthy way)
I think you will find it helpful.
If you have further questions- FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Otherwise, I trust that I have provided some helpful direction.
I APPRECIATE YOUR POSITVE RATING SO THAT I RECEIVE CREDIT FOR MY TIME AND EXPERTISE