How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Alicia_MSW Your Own Question
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Alicia_MSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

yes, i was thinking along the line of relying on my own intuition

Customer Question

yes, i was thinking along the line of relying on my own intuition instead of horoscope.. do u think reading helps cuz being more articulate, with more words, would also help intuition, as in able to describe it better, knowin more words..etc ? or whats other ways to get in touch/in tune with ur intuition...?

Anyhow.. i was gona say, this situation actually make me feel as if i'm in my own nightmare, and can't wake up or sth...! seriously.. & does that sound really in, is it such a bad situation for me to say that..?

i guess, all this could've been avoided, if i just been more "mindful" you said,
maybe if i tell u more abt my background, u'd be able to tell me if that has to do w/ my issue/situation now...?
i'm like a loner now..and sort of a strugglin immigrant here..that's might also b one of the reasons i moved, cuz there was a problem with my status & like i said, i thought i may have to leave within a certain time.. altho' i think.. that was one of my distractions on moving, like trying to keep promise to my friend....both maybe my loner, possibly "avoidant personality disorder" (i just search and found that name..) that also affected my action, decision..trying to run away, being too self-conscious at the time...etc,

do you think i should try to explain why i moved to the guy if i see him.. & try to find out from him the 'what ifs'? as to what would've happen or sth like that.. to find out if he'd also have moved out regardless.. & with us, him& me.. ??

before coming here, i've stayed at few other different countries..also went to canada for school 1/2 way and came here..&.maybe i never outgrown the phase of not fitting in, or belong in the place..

do u think it maybe my tendency to run away from problems.. also not able to say no to people.. that cause this...
my work situation with family whom i'm helping, also got affected by the move, that i thought i was leaving the country, so there were also alot of changes regards XXXXX XXXXX at work.. it's just all so complicated, i just want to give up and go back home, to taiwan.. but my status pending also restrict that cuz if i leave now, i'd kinda give up all 8 or so years that i've been here already for the status.. do u think its worth it for me to stay or just give up and go back..? given my messed up situation as described...

thank you
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 5 years ago.
Hi there!

I think it's great that you are turning more toward your intuitive side than the horoscope - although you can still use them for fun and guidance (as long as you use it in moderation, too, and not as a replacement for your own feelings). In my opinion, some of the ways that you can get in touch with your intuition include meditation (you might want to check out this website for starters, it has some free meditation audio clips you can use:, prayer (if that works for you), and journaling - to get in touch with your feelings, desires, hopes/dreams.

It doesn't sound bad that you feel like you're lost, because it does make sense in light of what you've told me in our previous conversations. But try not to beat yourself up for feeling that way, either. Everyone feels lost sometimes. Mindfulness can help with that feeling, too - it can help you feel more grounded.

And it does make sense also in light of your status/ being a bit of a loner. Maybe you are also a bit of an introvert, or highly sensitive? (You might want to take the self-quiz on this website to find out:

I don't know if it's so necessary to explain to the guy why you moved out - unless you think it would make you feel better or help you somehow if you try to reconnect. It could be a way to re-open the lines of communication, which might lead to other things, as you mentioned...

It doesn't sound like you're running away from problems so much, and I think you have a lot of insight, actually. But maybe part of it is just that you've never really felt at home anywhere - and with your status being up in the air, it can make you almost feel like you're not really sure where you belong. I can't really tell you what you should do about your status, but it does seem that it would be a shame if you give up now after 8 years - you don't want that to be wasted for nothing. Being homesick is normal - but if you feel like you don't want to stay in the US, then you'd have a good reason to think about going back. I'd give it some more time and try to see what happens with this guy, because it seems like that's giving you the most anxiety right now.

I hope that helps!
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience: Specializing in relationship/family counseling
Alicia_MSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
the meditation as horoscopes, i think i was saying, are like ways to get more in tune w/ ur intuition, right?
& how about reading, do u think that'd help..

also, u mentioned, 'to see how it goes with that guy..' and that totally reminded me of how i should've took things.. just stay, for another month at the time.... & see how things go with him & my status.. and things could've been very different, more fun, he probably wouldn't be seeing someone now, he told me he is...

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here

(well, there was a kinda issue with landlord on the time limit, altho he gave me another month..., but also mentioned to raise rent, i don't know, im thinking about asking him abt that if i see him to pick up mail, to see how it seem like, if he'd really wanted to kick me out anyways at the time or what..?!) & the old place was also much better, bigger, luxurious, better location... why the hell did i moved to a less convenient, worse location, smaller, but cheaper rent.. yah that was one of reason, to save, but i'd rather to spend more & keep at work & maybe better lifestyle..?

well.., so back to that again, i don't know how to deal with this situation now, he's seein someone else.. it's too late,,,how do i see how it goes with him now if that's the situation, i should've done that, to see how it'd go with him b4, a year ago...! =(

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Other.
wasn't avail.
Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

Hello! Please remember that my responses are informational only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.

It takes some practice to learn how to trust your own intuition. Here's some ideas to practice that:

1. Spend quiet time alone and ask yourself open ended questions: "Where would I feel most comfortable living" (referring to your moving situation), "What would I like my life to look like one year, two years, five years from now?" "How would I like a relationship to look like on a day to day basis?" Let the responses come to you and take notice of how you think. You should be relaxed while doing this ---

2. Keep a journal: Just let it be unstructured, free flowing, whatever comes to mind. You want some unconscious thoughts to pop out among your writing. Write down your dreams too and look for themes.

3. Try using the right side of your brain --If you are left brained, this might be more difficult --but it would be doing some things like drawing, painting (try it with your non dominant hand), a craft, dancing, or even cooking. If you feel too awkward drawing, just cut out some pictures from magazines --maybe in response to some of your open-ended questions. See what you notice.

4. Be Patient and Open --We have a tendency to want to "figure it all out," whereas answers usually come in bits and pieces.

Please feel free to follow up ---

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi Drfee

i liked ur answer, thanks very much.
but was clicking back and forth and end up clicking it's ok

anyways, i like especially the last part of your answer, where we tend to want to figure it all out, whereas answers comes in bits and pieces, so by that, do u mean, sometimes you don't have an answer for something, or something that happened, but after awhile, you may start to come up with other answers or ideas of whatever happened, correct?

also, about asking yourself question in quiet place.. i'm wondering, cuz my life has been pretty messed up for past years, since i lived in a den with constant noise and little privacy for about 4 years, do you think that could be why i havn't got a chance to really quiet down and ask myself things i need to figure out, and think for myself??

Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

Hi ---I am glad my response is helpful to you.

Yes, you got exactly what I was trying to say with after while we see things from another perspective or get new ideas about something that happened or new ideas about how to approach something. I believe that it's how our brains process information, not completely all at once with everything that happens or every decision that we need to make.

Yes --I think that if one lives with a high level of "noise" or "chaos," and constant people interaction that it's very difficult to quiet down and hear what's going on inside. In that situation I think people need to be more deliberate about making space/time to find a spot where you can be alone, quiet down, and think for a bit.

Related Relationship Questions