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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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My husband has recently (two weeks ago) returned from Rehab

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My husband has recently (two weeks ago) returned from Rehab for prescription medication addiction. He is doing really well, and not using any substances. However, I am concerned that he is slipping back into old ways, finding it hard to get up in the morning, still doesn't have a job, has withdrawn slightly. I am trying to 'Detach with Love' but am finding it really difficult to take on the responsibility of our two young children without feeling resentful. How can I detach without feeling this way?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
It is certainly difficult to support someone in recovery while feeling unsupported yourself. If you see him sliding it might be time to suggest he do something about it. If he doesn't have a sponsor perhaps he needs to get one so he has someone else to lean on. If he's not getting out of bed in the morning and helping with the kinds, ask him to do some specific things to contribute. If you have family support, lean on them a bit more, until your husband is doing better. Al Anon can also be a good part of your support system. Does the program he attended have any after care?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi, thanks for your response. The program has aftercare in the form of AA meetings which he isn't attending. I specifically want to know about how to detach myself, and how to avoid feelings of resentment. Are there any visualisation techniques you know of that I could try?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

....Also, we don't have family support because nobody knows where he was for a month.

Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
You can visualize your resentment as an object, anything that strikes a cord with you. Imagine putting the resentment into a box with a strong lock. Dig a deep hole for the box and put it in. shovel all the dirt back in the hole, completely filling it. Now the resentment is out far away from you. If it starts to bother you, remind yourself, it's at the bottom of a deep hole locked away.

Another image is of your resentment being made from smoke like a sky writer would use. Picture the wind blowing very hard, smearing the letters out until they are thin clouds. As a symbol of the wind, you can take a deep breath and slowly let it out by steadily blowing the word resentment away.
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