Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
Your question is a good one; it is a hazard of long distance relationships. Why are they particularly problematic?
Because there's no clear way to know whether what you're seeing in him and what you're feeling in yourself are really who he is and really who you are or if it is a product of the uncertainties of being apart. So there is no clear way to judge.
Either way, it's clear that you are more of a "I need my space" kind of person and he is more of a "I need reassurance" kind of person. But whether it is a difference that can harmonize well or will be an irritant even more when you're living together is unknown at this point. And that's the key here:
There is no way to know while you two are separated. Therefore, the way to deal with this is not to try to know for sure. What do I mean?
This isn't a time to make decisions based on these differences between you. And you don't have to decide right now. So relax with it and give the relationship time to develop. Yes, you want to know if this is something that will make living together awful or if you love him and when you're together it will even out. Keep allowing yourself to not know right now because there is no way to know. If you force yourself to make a decision, it will often be the wrong decision. You'll either break it off and regret or commit to something you shouldn't have.
The second key is to make sure that the long term nature of the relationship has a definite end point. It can't be open ended that maybe in a few years or something you'll be together. That's holding your life hostage. The real discussion has to be what steps you two are going to take to rearrange your lives to give the relationship an opportunity to either flourish or reveal that it won't work. That means arranging jobs, schooling, or whatever has to be done. Because, again, you can't live in this suspended state too long.
So rather than trying to answer whether you really love him or whether there are some unhealthy feelings going on, work on creating the time frame for finding out whether this will work. And if you and he aren't willing to do what it takes to be together within a year or so, then that gives you the answer right there that it is time to move on.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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