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DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 363
Experience:  I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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I guess I am trying to get an understanding of the dynamics

Customer Question

I guess I am trying to get an understanding of the dynamics going on here. This is not first rodeo for either of us nor is the first person dated since divorce. Not that I have an opinion or expectation that we would potentially become deeper involved I realize it takes time. Some relations are just immediately sexual in nature and fizzle out rather quickly. Question is does her intitial declaration give reason to walk away as she not really intersted or something else. It is hard to put in so much time and energy towards a relationship if not mutual respect and desire to move forward. My goal is not based on sexual expectations but at the same time I have not been in relationships where the desire for intimate relations did not exist. After over five months it seems to me the potential desire turns into casual friends versus something more. I would certainly be intrested in something more and already have plenty of friends to go out to dinner and events with. Is it a question I should ask directly at this point to unerstand better her wishes? The other dynamic is certainly her 13 year old son which she has metioned she would never tell him she has been dating and goes to an extreme to make sure he is unaware of her activity.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 5 years ago.

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Is anyone helping you?

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I'm a relationship expert and here to help if you want.

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Can I help? I can switch to Q&A format, if that is more helpful.

Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 5 years ago.
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Please let me know if I can help. I know you mentioned that she has not told her son about your dating relationship. Are you sensing another reason in addition to not causing any confusion or conflict with her son if her relationship/marriage to her son's father and break-up was really hard on the son.
I almost always in any situation recommend being as open and honest as possible. Of course you can be delicate and respectful when you talk, but think being direct and asking her what she thinks right now and how she views the relationship going forward (or not) is the best route.
Do you want to continue any further exchange if you think I can help?
Best,
==Dr. Jackie

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