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llw26
llw26, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 208
Experience:  LCPC - 2015. Counseling skills.
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My girlfriend seems to have very limited time for me, and its

Resolved Question:

My girlfriend seems to have very limited time for me, and its very frustrating. Im not sure if its actually problem of it Im just being childish...
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  llw26 replied 5 years ago.

llw26 :

So when you discuss the time limitation within your relationship, what does your girlfriend say?

Customer:

well its difficult to say. shes very much stuck in a schedule and doesnt seem that great at time management (will often spend a whole day pottering around the house rather than getting productive things done). its been hard to kind of squeeze myself in between the cracks in her routine. its the strangest situation Ive been in in this regard. Also - Im here in New York from London and really desperately hate it - Im just here for her (and she understands how difficult it is for me and often says she appreciates me staying for her), yet I still seem to be way down on the list below household chores. It shouldnt bother me if i was home in London, but Im honestly wondering if its worth continuing anymore

Customer:

(that was a lot of writing, sorry :-)

llw26 :

No that's okay, that's a lot of helpful information.

llw26 :

Does she feel uncomfortable if she deviates from her norm?

llw26 :

I don't think this is a childish question, as this is something that is truly bothering you...and you've both discussed it...and yet, nothing is becoming of this...or nothing is being resolved I should say.

Customer:

yeah, she's really a creature of habit. She knows its silly, and Ive been trying to shake things up a little, but its a pretty solid routine it seems

Customer:

well i ask because i know im not a very patient person, but at the same time things have been this way for 6 months or so

llw26 :

Does she still seem "into" the relationship? It sounds as though you have done a lot (moving to the US from EU to be here), attempting to add some changes in your life...etc.

llw26 :

Yes, while you may not be a patient person...it's still not fair that you make many changes and she does not...is she aware of the sacrifices you've made and how this impacts you, and your life...as well as the life you two have built together?

Customer:

oh yes, shes very much into the relationship - she seems completely happy and has even talked about going to London down the track, but I honestly cant see this working. We dont even sleep over one anothers house overnight anymore because her weird routine drove me nuts for two weeks when she stayed here.

Customer:

hmmm, as im typing this its sounding a bit of a disaster

llw26 :

Well, there are always habits that annoy us of our significant others...and it is often difficult when living with, not only another person, but having that person be your significant other. Are these quirks you could see, in the long run, not bothering you?

llw26 :

Do any of your quirks bother her?

Customer:

She has many quirks that dont bother me at all, theyre quite charming. It would just be nice to rank above laundry. I know she only has this problem becuse shes so horrible at managing time (I have no idea why), but Im not sure how do change this. (I dont think I can) My quirks probably do bother her - Id be surprised if they didnt!.

llw26 :

Right, there are some quirks of people that don't change over time, no matter how much we want them to change that

llw26 :

and we often have accept that aspect of them as who they are

llw26 :

if we want to continue with that relationship

Customer:

yes, youre right. I guess theres not much I can do really. its a problem because im really considering going back rather than continue to rattle around this place by myself, i guess ill just have to talk to her about that and see what happens

llw26 :

All you can do is communicate your fears, and thoughts with your girlfriend. I hope I have been able to help you with this!

Customer:

youre right. thanks for your help.

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