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Anger is often a secondary emotion to another feeling i.e. pain, helplessness, shame, etc.
There are different approaches to deal w/ one's anger according to what you feel comfortable with.
One way to look at anger is that it is an emotion that hurts You - the one who holds onto it and experiences it. It rarely harms the other individual.
Anger is also connected to your private thoughts (what you think about, for how long/ruminations, self doubt or guilt, etc)
Is this by any chance connected to you feeling "unworthy" of his time/love?
Sometimes the behavior of others can trigger past memories that have been suppressed of how someone else important to you had treated you. Of course, your reaction can also be a new one based on the events that transpired.
The sense of not being worthy comes from you possibly on some level believing that you're not. Because, self worth should not come from him or another. IT is a self confirmation.
Hence, your reaction is one that hurts you once again. The anger most likely is making you feel uncomfortable and hurting emotionally.
Your trust was broken. It is this that hurts the most- you feel vulnerably and maybe shocked that your partner will be capable of something like this.
To be able to manage the anger, try to view yourself from the side- see how he already hurt you through this and then see how you're still hurting because the anger is eating you emotionally and psychologically
Yes, but you did not cause him to act or be that way. It is nothing to do with who you are as a person.
It is his poor and self serving choices of what to do (to feel better himeself) while you were struggling
How does he provoke you now?
You may decide to own your power and not give in to his provocations. He could be antagonizing you to get a reaction, to feel self rightious and to deflect the attention from what he did onto you.
Those who have sociopthic or narcissistic traits would do things like that. If there is any way for you to limit what you do for him i.e. cook/do his laundry, give him spending money, etc. would be one way to set limits w/ him.
This is not a healthy situation for you to be in. Have you considered what you want to do as far as separation or moving out, etc?