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John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 666
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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My boyfriend and I have been together since March 3, 2012.

Customer Question

My boyfriend and I have been together since March 3, 2012. We broke up April 21, 2012 then just got back together on May 14th. Ive seen through his facebook that a couple girls are messaging him and ive also seen old messages from him to them about how he wants to be with them and have a family with them. I told him before we even talked about getting back together that he needs to get his life together and really know what he wants in life and settle down instead of telling all these girls he wants to be with them and stuff like that to lead them on. Well now hes decided to be with me again and I recently went on his facebook and seen where these girls have been tryin to send him messages but he hasnt responded to them. Im still alittle insecure though cause I feel like I have nothing from him so far proiving to me that its me he really wants and not them. I dont want to say anything to him because I dont want him to know Ive been reading his messages behind his back. I dont know what to do and its kinda bothering me. Do I stick by his side and see how things work out or leave him??
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
I am sorry you are in this situation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and love helping people through situations like yours. Do remember though, this is not counseling. I am only advising you based on what you have said and my experience and education in this area. That said, I hope I can be of help to you. I agree, it is not good practice to look at someone else's messages. Yet, I also figure there must be a reason you feel you cannot trust him. I do not see any reason here for you to leave him at this time though, unless I have misunderstood. It seems he said those things to those girls while you were apart and has discontinued those dialogues since you reconnected. I do believe I would maybe proceed with caution, giving him a chance to prove himself loyal. I'm not sure I would reveal that I had been reading his messages either. I think maybe you need to work more on your communication and develope a greater trust in each other. Go ahead and ask him where you stand and where you fit in his future plans. Make sure his intentions are the same as yours It doesn't hurt to be open and honest. I hope I have been a help. I see you are offline now. Please feel free to question me further after you come back online, even after you accept. I will be monitoring our discussion. Thank you for letting me help!
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
I see you are offline now. Please feel free to question me further after you come back online, even after you accept. I will be monitoring our discussion. Thank you for letting me help!
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
Melanie, Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way. John Michaels, MS, LPC