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my x~fiance broke our engagement , due to having an autoimmune

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! the specialists tookm her...
my x~fiance broke our engagement , due to having an autoimmune ! the specialists tookm her off her meds: a couple of months ago lately i & others have seen her watching us work in my fields ! ishe & i were having work done in my house & added a new porch !on the front of my house as we were planning to get married on sept: 14, 2012! my question is is she looking to restablish our relationship ? your thoughts please ! marvin
Submitted: 5 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 5 minutes by:
6/2/2012
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 368
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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DrJackiePhD :

Hi there--is someone helping you?

DrJackiePhD :

I'm Dr. Jackie, and I'm happy to help. I see that you were online before but now off-line. So I'll wait in here for a few minutes before switching over to Q&A/email format.

DrJackiePhD :

Hello

DrJackiePhD :

I can't seem to see you now so I'm going to switch to the Q&A format and try to help you there if that is ok.

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Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
Hi Marvin,

I'm so sorry to hear that your engagement was broken off and that your ex-fiance has an auto-immune disease.

Can you help me understand better what you mean by "she was watching you from the fields"? Do you have a farm or a lot of acres where she was literally in the field?

From what you have said, it does seem she has maintained her romantic interest in you. It sounds like she is grieving the loss of what could have been hers and your life if she is watching the work on the porch.

Can I ask how the break-up actually happened? She is doing it for you, I am guessing, because she does not want to be a burden. Perhaps you can fill me in on more detail regarding how the break-up happened and how recently she was diagnosed, etc.?

I think that will help us have a more productive dialog.

Please ignore the "ACCEPT" right now--you do not have to pay until after you are satisfied we have talked through your concerns.

Best,
==Dr. Jackie
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 368
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr: Jackie yes thats what she told me ! she did not to be a burden ! she was just sitting on the road between the fams ! yes I agree that she sees the porch as a reminder that when she did all the planning & I followed through evethough she is not here its a "heartug" for her & when it is now done exactly like she wanted & alot in the house the same the past 6 months!!! it also shows I am going forward in life & yetshows her aspects of influence too ! it shows her I am a person of my word when I told her it would be done this spring& she knowsI followed through!ps their are two farmsteads I am at the other one most of the time & I think she wants to approach me alone & as she & I lived together in my home ! she knows 90 % of the time thats where the most activity is ! also i need to share that she is very financially strapped! as she went through bankruptcy 27 months ago & lost her home!! & her youngest son hadto co~sign a 16% intrest note to get a car before we met! he is on the title & ins: too! also i bought her washer & dryer ! & they are not very old & cost alot of money new & also i bought her dining room table & chairs she had since her first marriage & other furniture too ! I spent $15,000.00 on the inside of the house this winter all in her aspects ! your thoughts? m
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
Marvin,

From what you have said, you seem like a very generous man. You have a lot to give another person, and I think you have reached out and blessed her. Although you don't say so, I am guessing she is very grateful because of the rough road she has been through.

Since she backed out after everything you have done, I am guessing it's not because she met someone else. There is likely guilt on her part because of everything you have done for her and now she has this illness...

Let me ask you--do you think she really wanted/wants you for you? I know that must sound harsh, but unfortunately money does attract people. But if you really believe she wanted/wants you for you and that she bowed out because of her illness and you don't sense there is any one else--there probably isn't. You are probably right on.

My signature asks for compensation, but I would definitely like to communicate more and try to answer your questions based on more information that you give me in answer to my suggestions before you think about compensation!

Thanks,
==Dr. Jackie
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr: Jackie !! no matter what Eve still has a serious auto immune disorder & Raynauds too!!!!!!!!!!! ps: this is just another chapter in life for her 3 failed marriages!! ps: 3 lost homes out of 4 & I own her original dining room table & other furniture& her front loader washer & dryer! ps: as a friend who has known her for 15 plus years !said::::::: ps: she's a downward spinning failure!!!!!!!!!! But ! i must share with you this:: she has no credit! & lost her last home in Bankruptcy::::: ps: I have her high$$$$$$$$$$ ceiling fans: in my house! her 2006 pontiac G~6 !! is @ 16 % intrest& the title & insurance & registration are held joint with her youngest son!!!!!!!!!!!!! ps: although she has somewhat of a high position secertarial position in the state of mi> ps:::::::she is the bid award person for 100% of "all" the road construction in michigan @ $45,000.00 plus benefits! m
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
Hi again,

I want to help but I am sorry--I am unsure what you are asking in your last reply. I know you have shared more details--thank you for helping to give a fuller picture of what this woman has been through. I am sensing you really feel for her. But I am not sure if you are asking if you should try to pursue something again. Is that what you were seeking advice about? Or did you want to know if you should have a sit down talk with her?

You have given me a lot of details about this lady's hardships, but I am uncertain how I can comment on or help. If you can reply, I will do my best to help.

Best,
==Dr. Jackie

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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr . Jackie !!!!!!!!!!!! your thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!! m
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
This is the first chance the system has allowed me to respond to you. I apologize for that. I am unsure why I could not respond before.

I finally had the chance to read the rest of the details you provided about Eve being with another man in the morning but then in the fields watching the porch later.

It does seem indeed that she regrets breaking it off with you. I am guessing she still cares about you and maybe would like to talk about a possibility of getting back together with you but could be afraid to approach you because of everything you have given her already.

Let me ask you--what are YOUR feelings now toward this woman? Do you think it's possible that you can see yourself with her in the future? To clarify, you have invested an awful lot of time, energy, and money into this relationship. Would you be willing to give it another chance? What are YOUR thoughts regarding this relationship now. What do YOU want to do? Do you still love her? Are you willing to keep helping her and maybe going to counseling with to deal with her illness? Both you and she could benefit from counseling regarding her illness if you do decide to give this relationship another try.

Again, I am asking you, do you want to call her and sit down over coffee or a casual lunch and talk? You have invested a lot. She seems to remain interested in you even though she thinks her illness would be a deterrent in your relationship. I think asking her to coffee or lunch would be a worthwhile investment!

I hope this helps. Again, I'm sorry the system did not allow me to answer this yesterday when I tried. Please let me know if this is helpful and if I can help further!

Best,
==Dr. Jackie
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 368
Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr; Jackie !!!!! thanks for the reply! ps: she was not at church yesterday! neither was I , ps: friends let me know ! m
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
ps: talk? m
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr: Jackie!!!!!!!! ps::::::::::q;do you think" she will talk? ps: I will have the shutters on by the end of the week ! a couple of friends suggested they would simply send her some photos& say ps: "caught~ya ~ looking! & thought you needed to see the completed aspect! "m"
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
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Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
Dr; Jackie ! Kate felt it would be a good icebreaker as Eve designed the porch ! your thoughts!! ps : the goal is to be married ! m
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
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Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
I have been trying to respond to your questions, but the system is not letting me. I have been able to respond to other customers. I do not know what the problem is, and I am so sorry about this. I'm trying to report this to the technical people on the site so that I can try to respond to you as soon as possible. I just wanted you to know that I am not ignoring your requests in any way and I'm frustrated that I am unable to respond to your concerns!
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
ps: is it poissible that I may hear something from Eve now that her illness is inremisson & she has been out here at least a few known times & the guy she was with at church no longer shows up with her anymore? let me know your thoughts ? m
Customer reply replied 5 years ago
dr: jackie also ? should i tell her i have the rings for her in a fireproof safe ? m
Counselor: DrJackiePhD, Doctor replied 5 years ago
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
ps: she has disappeared from church! & was not there again today !! your thoughts ? m
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Experience: I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

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