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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I am a 24 your old male. Ive been with my now fiance for

Customer Question

I am a 24 your old male. I've been with my now fiance for 5 years. If I'm very sleepy I don't want to have sex, and late at night I don't want to have sex. I have jobs I get up early for so I go to bed at 10pm. My fiance doesn't get off till 8pm and we have to eat, take care of our pets and get stuff ready for work the next day. We maybe have one day off a month together because of our jobs. So the only time we can have sex is between 8-10pm. I feel like I'm restricted to only having sex at a particular time which isn't fun to me, therefor I'm not in the mood often. Is this normal? I still get turned on and when we have a day off together we will have sex usually during the day. This has been a problem for a long time now.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.

KansasTherapist : Hello
KansasTherapist : Normal isn't a word I use much.
KansasTherapist : Sexual preferences vary from one person to another, and it doesn't matter what works for most people, just what works for you two.
KansasTherapist : It doesn't sound like this is working for you.
KansasTherapist : Do you like sex that is spontaneous and unplanned?
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
If so, perhaps it would help if your girl friend surprised you by being the aggressor, even though it would be during one of the times that works. If that doesn't work, maybe you could add some fantasy or role play to make things more interesting within the time restrictions. Another idea is to have some cuddle time a few times a week so that you will feel close and intimate even if you don't have sex. This would give you a chance to get turned on and act on it, if you feel like it.

I hope. Please, let me know if I'm going in the right direction with these ideas.