AskJason : Hi, I'm Jason. I'm glad to answer your question. (My answers are intended as information and my opinion only and this is not therapy or counseling.
AskJason : First let me say that it does sound encouraging that your boyfriend responded positively to your conversation regarding seeing each other more frequently.
AskJason : Do I understand correctly that you have moved (or will soon be moving) out of state? How far away will you be?
I haven't moved yet, but will be gone from July. I will be in Germany and he will be in the UK. I should also mention that we are both in our 40s and have families (he has a disabled son), so there are demands on us already together with work commitments. I don't want to add to the drama but may need to make it clear that I have some requirements for a healthy relationship.
AskJason : How long do you anticipate being out of the UK?
It is a permanent arrangement but I have made it clear that I am willing to review and make adjustments or even bigger changes if needed. Neither of us is from the UK and both families are in Europe, he is just based in the UK as he feels it's the best society for him to live in (he is Black, I am White)
AskJason : I am sorry you are being faced with this emotional struggle and I definitely understand how hard this must be for you. With you living so far away it becomes all the more important that your boyfriend will need to agree to some long term planning. Plane tickets are much cheaper in advance, and of course your work will likely require advance notice as well. Perhaps more importantly, you will not feel any peace of mind unless you know in your heart that your boyfriend is fighting to find ways for your relationship to last. Certainly that includes advanced planning at minimum. I think you have every right to approach him and converse about this, without worry that you will come off as a nag or as mothering. This is a MAJOR life change for both of you, but especially for you. You deserve to have an open and honest dialogue with your boyfriend so you can give your relationship every possible chance to succeed.
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX glad to say that we have good communication. We do connect several times a day via various means and he is emotionally expressive. I think he is a little afraid of whether things will work out or if it is too much as the relationship is quite young. My problem is more what approach/language to employ with him when trying to discuss this. I am happy to talk about my feelings (I have done that already) but that hasn't yielded any actions from him yet.
AskJason : Ok I have some ideas regarding the appropriate phrasing. Regretfully I have an appointment at 2PM my time which is in 3 minutes. Would you be ok with me switching this chat to the Q&A format? This will allow me to send you another answer a bit later today and you will receive notice of my post via email. Our entire chat history will also be available above that. Would that be acceptable?
That would be great, thank you.
AskJason : Ok talk with you shortly!