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DrPsychologist, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  I am a licensed psychologist with over 10 years of experience in providing mental health psychotherapy.
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My wife had a 12 year affair. We have been married for 19 years.

Resolved Question:

My wife had a 12 year affair. We have been married for 19 years. She confirmed it was an emotional affair, and that she loves the man she was with. She has promised its over, however i am broken and devastated to think that over half our marraige she has been intimate, both pysically, and emotionaly with another man.
Even though she is saying she doesnt love him anymore, I know she does, and i know she is staying with me for the sake of the kids.
I am lost, I deeply love her but feel deceived, clingly, alone and like a failure.
She promises to stay with me however i know the rest of our lives she will always be thinking of this other guy.
To make matters worst, the other guy has left his family, has openly proclaimed his love for my wife, has told me to my face, knows all imtinate details about me as my wife has discussed these things with him. I know he loves her, i know she loves him, and i know she is doing this for the kids, and out of a sense of sadness for me.
help me.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrPsychologist replied 5 years ago.

Hello. I am so sorry to hear about your very painful circumstaces. What would be helpful for you at this point? Are you trying to decide whether to stay in the marriage yourself at this point? Let's try to chat when you are online. I look forward to working with you.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

essentially thats it, I am trying to decide whether i continue with my wife or leave her.


She says she loves me and will be there for me, however i can't past the fact that this affair went on for so long.

Expert:  DrPsychologist replied 5 years ago.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Please forgive me for being so honest, but if you decide to stay with your wife you will be doing so with the knowledge that she will very likely cheat on you again (likely with the same man, many more times). If you think that your children don't know or won't find out then you are fooling yourself.


Ultimately, it is your decision. You are the only one who will live with your decision

Expert:  DrPsychologist replied 5 years ago.

I am happy to help you find a therapist in your area and also divorce attorneys if you would like such a list as well. I just need to know what city and state you are in.


DrPsychologist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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