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AskJason, Relationship Answers
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  B.A. Psychology
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I have had my heart broken a couple times, as well as have

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I have had my heart broken a couple times, as well as have been cheated on many times, including my best friends being the ones that the girl cheated on me with. Because of this, I have become reclusive, and distrusting, as well as very protective of my romantic heart. How do I overcome these issues? As well as, how do I search for someone I can trust and be with, when I never get to go out, due to joblessness?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  AskJason replied 5 years ago.

AskJason :

Hi, I'm Jason. I'm glad to answer your question. (My answers are intended as information and my opinion only and this is not therapy or counseling.

AskJason :

We could spend a lot of time talking about all the reasons you feel the way you do, but I don't think any of that will help you to move forward. Since you are offline, I am going to switch this Chat to the Q&A format and then provide you with an Answer.

Expert:  AskJason replied 5 years ago.
Many, many people have been cheated on. These days it is a very common scenario in a long term relationship. I'm not saying all people in long term relationships cheat or get cheated on, but it definitely happens a lot.

It is natural that this experience, or set of experiences, has left you feeling "reclusive, distrusting, and protective of your romantic heart". The key is to realize that the only way you will ever break through those feelings is to put yourself back at risk and pursue a relationship. You may get hurt again, but that is better than closing off your heart and making sure you never get hurt again but also make sure you never find love again either.

So the botXXXXX XXXXXne answer to your first question is that the way to get over these issues is to put yourself back out there emotionally and take a chance on love. There are no guarantees, but we all face the same obstacles to find that deep loving relationship that many of us are searching for. There is no magic wand that can be waved to protect yourself from being hurt again, but that's ok. You have to just gather up your courage, leave the past behind you, open your heart and mind to the possibility that there is that perfect person out there for you, and then let nature take its course.

Regarding your second question, it is very difficult to pursue women if you are broke. (By "joblessness" I presume you are implying you are short on cash due to this situation.) Dating typically costs money. Women want to be pursued and even in this day and age the man typically pays for the meals and other costs, at least early on in the relationship. At minimum, you should be prepared and able to pay your own way. If you can't, I'd have to say that dating will be tough for you no matter how you might meet women. There are ways to meet women even if you stay home all the time, via sites like for example, but again, a subscription to costs money and so will the dates you go on should you meet someone online who you like. So my best advice would be to try your best to find employment, even if it is a temporary position doing something you don't want to do forever, so you have a few bucks in your pocket and can enjoy some level of social life.

I hope my answers have helped and please remember to click the green "Accept" button. Thanks!
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Expert:  AskJason replied 5 years ago.
Hi Justin,

Just thought I would check in to see if you had made any headway in the dating world regarding the conversation we last had. If you have any additional questions and would like my assistance in answering them, please reply or post a new question with "For AskJason147" as the first line and it will be assigned to me. Thank you!

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